Damage Report

BWEoD Final Tallies:
Days of Drinking: 5 of 6
Days of Drunk: 4 of 6
Days of Awesomness: 6 of 6

For all future reference, everyone should always have a birthday week. None of that one day garbage. I may officially be old, but I got there in style, by damn.

It was a very dramatic weekend, filled with musical numbers, old people, astonishing football victories, inappropriate dances, and lots and lots of drinking. So you'd think there would be a thousand stories. Oddly enough, all I seem to be able to pull from my mind:

• Frat guys dress even worse now than when I went to school, which seems like a long time ago but was actually less than 6 months. How did things go so wrong so fast? Blazer over a polo shirt, with the polo collar flipped up? No no no no no. At least 200 guys at the football game were incredibly lucky that I didn't have some sort of blunt object with me 'cause I was in a hitting-people-with-bad-fashion-choices mood.
• Man, SMU never does things the easy way, do they? Got to ratchet up the tension as much as humanly possible. Ahead by a few points? Let's go for 2! Rich people do love the dramatic reversals, right? Oy.
• For all my bravado, I still couldn't convince myself to get drunk in front of both my parents and a table full of old people on my birthday. The old people were very irreverent, but some sort of repressive character trait from the past reared its ugly head. In other news from that night, Kim Greene rules the world.
• Surprising fact I learned this weekend: if you get continually drunk over a week, you are less likely to realize when you become drunk as the week progresses. When you can slam through three drinks and still think you are sober, you are totally deluding yourself and should probably check your speech for inappropriateness. Ah, hindsight.

Other news: I got a rug for my birthday, to add color and life to my living room. It is awesome. Sadly I'm already over it. I wonder if there is a return policy on things you lay on the floor and walk across.

I swear I remember when I used to write amusing things. Maybe once the alcoholic haze clears I'll be in better form. I apologize.