Per the Political Compass Questionnaire:
My political compass
Economic Left/Right: -1.75
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.59
Apparently I have unresolved Leftist/Communistic tendencies. It's just me and the Dalai Lama over here. Yet again.
At least it's better than that one time that the internet told me that my ideal religion was Sapphic Wiccanism. I've had more accurate personality tests from a Pirate Name Generator. (Shark Tooth Bryant. Go ahead and tell me that does not fit me like a glove.)
This quiz at least made me think, even if they were LibertarianCommie thoughts.
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In unrelated news, I'm really trying to blog more often, but I don't have a damn thing to talk about. Also, it is wicked cold all of a sudden. Where is my hip flask of Southern Comfort when I need it?
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Why I Don't Talk to People
Two quick scenes from my office yesterday, to illustrate exactly why I hate people:
[Scene One: The Break Room. Jason is washing out his coffee cup. He uses way too much soap and has created a frothing mess in the sink.]
Coworker 1: Hey. Man, you always clean that cup out every day, huh?
Jason: Uh, yeah. I need my coffee each morning.
Coworker 1: But you use that same scrubbing brush every day. All sorts of people wash dishes with it all the time. That can't be healthy.
Jason: But...that's its purpose. To wash dishes. And there's soap involved.
Coworker 1: Whatever guy, just don't say I didn't warn you. That's how disease spreads.
Jason: Oookay.
[Coworker 1 leaves. Jason finishes washing his cup, but totally cannot enjoy his coffee all morning long, instead he imagines it teeming with bacteria from the huddled masses of humanity that previously used that brush.]
[Scene 2: Jason in his office, on hold with a major phone company, as he has been for the last 4 years, approximately.]
Phone: Please hold, we are experiencing high call volume and wait times may be up to 5 minutes.
Jason: No kidding, try 17 minutes.
Operations Person 1: Good Afternoon, this is Becky, how can I help you today.
Jason: Hi, I'm trying to add [some service] to this phone plan for this month.
OP 1: Okay, I can help you with that. What is your phone number.
Jason: 214-555-xxxx
OP 1: I'm not seeing an account with that number. You said 214-555-xxxx?
Jason: That's correct.
OP 1: Nope, that number isn't with our company. Are you sure your service is with [Major Phone Company].
Jason: Uh yes. I'm looking at the billing statement right now.
OP 1: Hmm. Well can you give me the account number then?
Jason: [sigh] Sure. [Rambles off account number].
OP 1: Nothing is pulling up. The statement definitely says [Major Phone Company]?
Jason: Yessss. There's the logo right there and then right below that is this phone number that I dialed for customer service.
OP 1: Well it should be coming up then. Please hold.
[Jason holds for another 5 minutes. Their hold music is the most annoying music this side of Clay Aiken.]
Operations Person 2: Good Afternoon, this is Matt, Becky transferred you over to me for specialized help. Can I get your phone number.
Jason: [phone number]
OP 2: Hmm, I'm not seeing an account under that number, are you sure that your service is with [Major Goddamn Incompetent Phone Company]?
Jason: YES. Very sure. I am literally looking at my statement right now. And the phone - right there it says [Major Phone Company].
OP 2: Okay sir, well if I can't find your account by phone number or account number, I can't help you. You're completely sure that the service is with [Major Phone Company]?
Jason: You have got to be kidding me. You think I am making this up? That I've waited on this phone for 25 minutes to play an elaborate joke on some other service provider?
OP 2: Well people get confused sometimes...
Jason: I am physically holding the statement in my hand.
OP 2: Let me get that phone number one more time.
Jason: [Through gritted teeth, spills the phone number one more time.]
OP 2: Oh, there it is. Popped right up. Heh, that's funny. So what I can I do for you today?
Jason: [With the last ounce of patience left] I need to add [some service] to this line for the month.
OP 2: Okay, I can't do that, but I can transfer you back to Becky and she can take care of that for you.
[Jason seethes, waits another 3 minutes on hold. Thinks that it's now possible that Clay Aiken may be preferable to this music. Realizes what he just thought and almost throws up a little bit.]
OP 1: Alright, you're back on with Becky, we should be ready to go. Let me get your phone number one more time and we'll get that service added. Sorry for the delay.
Jason: [resigned, the number falls from his mouth, but his heart is truly broken]
OP 1: Hmmm.
Jason: What?
OP 1: Nothing is coming up. Can you hold for one second?
[Jason makes a strangled yelp, sounding sort of like "Yarglarlg!" He hangs up, bangs his head against the nearest large object a few times, and then gets back to work.]
This is not my beautiful life.
[Scene One: The Break Room. Jason is washing out his coffee cup. He uses way too much soap and has created a frothing mess in the sink.]
Coworker 1: Hey. Man, you always clean that cup out every day, huh?
Jason: Uh, yeah. I need my coffee each morning.
Coworker 1: But you use that same scrubbing brush every day. All sorts of people wash dishes with it all the time. That can't be healthy.
Jason: But...that's its purpose. To wash dishes. And there's soap involved.
Coworker 1: Whatever guy, just don't say I didn't warn you. That's how disease spreads.
Jason: Oookay.
[Coworker 1 leaves. Jason finishes washing his cup, but totally cannot enjoy his coffee all morning long, instead he imagines it teeming with bacteria from the huddled masses of humanity that previously used that brush.]
[Scene 2: Jason in his office, on hold with a major phone company, as he has been for the last 4 years, approximately.]
Phone: Please hold, we are experiencing high call volume and wait times may be up to 5 minutes.
Jason: No kidding, try 17 minutes.
Operations Person 1: Good Afternoon, this is Becky, how can I help you today.
Jason: Hi, I'm trying to add [some service] to this phone plan for this month.
OP 1: Okay, I can help you with that. What is your phone number.
Jason: 214-555-xxxx
OP 1: I'm not seeing an account with that number. You said 214-555-xxxx?
Jason: That's correct.
OP 1: Nope, that number isn't with our company. Are you sure your service is with [Major Phone Company].
Jason: Uh yes. I'm looking at the billing statement right now.
OP 1: Hmm. Well can you give me the account number then?
Jason: [sigh] Sure. [Rambles off account number].
OP 1: Nothing is pulling up. The statement definitely says [Major Phone Company]?
Jason: Yessss. There's the logo right there and then right below that is this phone number that I dialed for customer service.
OP 1: Well it should be coming up then. Please hold.
[Jason holds for another 5 minutes. Their hold music is the most annoying music this side of Clay Aiken.]
Operations Person 2: Good Afternoon, this is Matt, Becky transferred you over to me for specialized help. Can I get your phone number.
Jason: [phone number]
OP 2: Hmm, I'm not seeing an account under that number, are you sure that your service is with [Major Goddamn Incompetent Phone Company]?
Jason: YES. Very sure. I am literally looking at my statement right now. And the phone - right there it says [Major Phone Company].
OP 2: Okay sir, well if I can't find your account by phone number or account number, I can't help you. You're completely sure that the service is with [Major Phone Company]?
Jason: You have got to be kidding me. You think I am making this up? That I've waited on this phone for 25 minutes to play an elaborate joke on some other service provider?
OP 2: Well people get confused sometimes...
Jason: I am physically holding the statement in my hand.
OP 2: Let me get that phone number one more time.
Jason: [Through gritted teeth, spills the phone number one more time.]
OP 2: Oh, there it is. Popped right up. Heh, that's funny. So what I can I do for you today?
Jason: [With the last ounce of patience left] I need to add [some service] to this line for the month.
OP 2: Okay, I can't do that, but I can transfer you back to Becky and she can take care of that for you.
[Jason seethes, waits another 3 minutes on hold. Thinks that it's now possible that Clay Aiken may be preferable to this music. Realizes what he just thought and almost throws up a little bit.]
OP 1: Alright, you're back on with Becky, we should be ready to go. Let me get your phone number one more time and we'll get that service added. Sorry for the delay.
Jason: [resigned, the number falls from his mouth, but his heart is truly broken]
OP 1: Hmmm.
Jason: What?
OP 1: Nothing is coming up. Can you hold for one second?
[Jason makes a strangled yelp, sounding sort of like "Yarglarlg!" He hangs up, bangs his head against the nearest large object a few times, and then gets back to work.]
This is not my beautiful life.
Monday, November 27, 2006
Back in the Saddle
Lately I haven't been able to stop using the word delicious to describe everyday events.
The movie Stranger Than Fiction? Delicious.
The Spurs/Mavs game this weekend? Most delicious.
This means nothing really, but just serves as notice that when I say that Thanksgiving was delicious, it was an entirely different sort of delicious. One that involved at least 7 different kinds of pie, two kinds of dressing, and the largest turkey I personally have ever seen.
I now weigh 5 pounds more than when I left my apartment on Thursday morning. I regret nothing.
---------------------------
Right now is the exact time of year when I start thinking how much I love winter. It gets dark nice and early, it's cold enough to bust out my scarves (which I love and are flattering), but not cold enough to really hurt. Shortly I'll get into the mindset that my favorite season is winter, and start frolicking around like a demented Precious Moments figurine, listening to Christmas music non-stop and spending money on presents as if my bank account didn't currently have an available balance that requires the breaking of a twenty to cash out.
This lasts usually about 2-3 weeks until it gets actually cold - the kind of cold that burrows directly into your bones and makes my lovely Kenneth Cole corduroy jacket seem like it's made out of cheese cloth, and the heater in the Truck of Malfunction goes on the fritz. Then I really quickly come crashing down to earth and start cursing the winter and long for the 100's of degrees that come with summer. This usually also manages to coincide with the arrival of my credit card bill midway through December. Funny how that goes.
This leaves a good 2 month span in which to be bitter and cold, so it all works out for everyone.
But right now? Man, I love me some winter! It's almost time for (Gingerbread) House Party 2006!
----------------------------
Oh, and the final tally on the NaNoWriMo thing? 25,678 words, and I officially give up. It was a good run, but too much work and too much holidays were in the way. I'll still probably finish up the story eventually, but certainly not by the end of the month deadline, so I'm not gonna knock myself out over it. I feel pretty accomplished. No t-shirt, though. Too bad. Maybe next year.
Maybe this means I can actually start posting again, with some regularity. We'll see, though, as I am way lame nowadays.
The movie Stranger Than Fiction? Delicious.
The Spurs/Mavs game this weekend? Most delicious.
This means nothing really, but just serves as notice that when I say that Thanksgiving was delicious, it was an entirely different sort of delicious. One that involved at least 7 different kinds of pie, two kinds of dressing, and the largest turkey I personally have ever seen.
I now weigh 5 pounds more than when I left my apartment on Thursday morning. I regret nothing.
---------------------------
Right now is the exact time of year when I start thinking how much I love winter. It gets dark nice and early, it's cold enough to bust out my scarves (which I love and are flattering), but not cold enough to really hurt. Shortly I'll get into the mindset that my favorite season is winter, and start frolicking around like a demented Precious Moments figurine, listening to Christmas music non-stop and spending money on presents as if my bank account didn't currently have an available balance that requires the breaking of a twenty to cash out.
This lasts usually about 2-3 weeks until it gets actually cold - the kind of cold that burrows directly into your bones and makes my lovely Kenneth Cole corduroy jacket seem like it's made out of cheese cloth, and the heater in the Truck of Malfunction goes on the fritz. Then I really quickly come crashing down to earth and start cursing the winter and long for the 100's of degrees that come with summer. This usually also manages to coincide with the arrival of my credit card bill midway through December. Funny how that goes.
This leaves a good 2 month span in which to be bitter and cold, so it all works out for everyone.
But right now? Man, I love me some winter! It's almost time for (Gingerbread) House Party 2006!
----------------------------
Oh, and the final tally on the NaNoWriMo thing? 25,678 words, and I officially give up. It was a good run, but too much work and too much holidays were in the way. I'll still probably finish up the story eventually, but certainly not by the end of the month deadline, so I'm not gonna knock myself out over it. I feel pretty accomplished. No t-shirt, though. Too bad. Maybe next year.
Maybe this means I can actually start posting again, with some regularity. We'll see, though, as I am way lame nowadays.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
18,542
18,542. More than eight thousand words better than last time. And we're only at the halfway point. Woot. But writing is hard, yo. Dag.
Anyways, updates!
As you might could tell by my last.fm page, I have a thing for Regina Spektor. Just a tiny thing, that involves me listening to her twice as much as anything else in the world. I absolutely love her voice, and her song writing. You hear the Tori Amos/Fiona Apple comparisons all the time, but frankly? She's much better. (I can't believe I just said something mean about Fiona. What has become of me?)
Normally this (obsession) would not be worth mentioning (as I am a bit obsessive about a million things), but last Thursday Regina was at the Gypsy Tea Room on her first headlining tour.
And I got to go! (Thanks Jordan!!!! One million times.)
Now, okay, I don't go see a lot of live music, I will admit that. So maybe I'm not the best judge of such things. But seriously, it was just the amazing concert. Ever. We got there at just the right time (10 minutes before the opening band), and we had excellent spots on the floor without having to wait forever.
The opener (Only Son) was not bad, which is all I ask of an opening band. I say band, but it was really one man with a guitar and a magical backup recording. He was sort of a cross between the lead singer of Death Cab and Mitch Hedberg. Which...yeah. Whatever, at least he was interesting.
Then Regina came out and, omigosh y'all. That tiny obsession is officially blown out of control. I am trying so hard not to sound like a 14 year old Livejournaler, and am failing wildly.
Soooooo good!!!1!eleven!1!
Talent all over the place. Even better live than on the CD, and I love her Soviet Kitsch like it is my own child. She played plenty off of that album, every single one of my favorite songs off of Begin to Hope, and a few original songs that are just for her live shows (e.g. Dance Anthem, which I really wish I had a recording of now).
The show alternated about half and half between her solo on the piano (for things like Flowers and Summer in the City (which is one million times better live)) and her backed up by her band (coming up for her more electronic songs, like Fidelity or Hotel Song (my favorite of all her songs, which was the final encore of the night! Swoon, for serious.))
The entire thing was completely surreal, because it was so unlike most small venue concerts I've been too. Big crowd, but still plenty of standing room so you weren't crushed, no overly drunken fools, no loud talking during quiet songs (because a lot of Regina Spektor is quiet, or has long pauses), and an almost 2 hour long show. An excellent experience all around.
And did I mention that she did Poor Little Rich Boy, with a drumstick in one hand and a piano at the other? Which I guess I understood empirically was how it was done, but Wow, in person, crazy impressive.
So now, yeah, totally obsessed. I have 11:11, Songs, Begin to Hope, and Soviet Kitsch running on a continuous loop on my iPod. LOVE.
And feel free to shoot me, but this music video makes me so happy that I might spontaneously combust.
Anyways, updates!
As you might could tell by my last.fm page, I have a thing for Regina Spektor. Just a tiny thing, that involves me listening to her twice as much as anything else in the world. I absolutely love her voice, and her song writing. You hear the Tori Amos/Fiona Apple comparisons all the time, but frankly? She's much better. (I can't believe I just said something mean about Fiona. What has become of me?)
Normally this (obsession) would not be worth mentioning (as I am a bit obsessive about a million things), but last Thursday Regina was at the Gypsy Tea Room on her first headlining tour.
And I got to go! (Thanks Jordan!!!! One million times.)
Now, okay, I don't go see a lot of live music, I will admit that. So maybe I'm not the best judge of such things. But seriously, it was just the amazing concert. Ever. We got there at just the right time (10 minutes before the opening band), and we had excellent spots on the floor without having to wait forever.
The opener (Only Son) was not bad, which is all I ask of an opening band. I say band, but it was really one man with a guitar and a magical backup recording. He was sort of a cross between the lead singer of Death Cab and Mitch Hedberg. Which...yeah. Whatever, at least he was interesting.
Then Regina came out and, omigosh y'all. That tiny obsession is officially blown out of control. I am trying so hard not to sound like a 14 year old Livejournaler, and am failing wildly.
Soooooo good!!!1!eleven!1!
Talent all over the place. Even better live than on the CD, and I love her Soviet Kitsch like it is my own child. She played plenty off of that album, every single one of my favorite songs off of Begin to Hope, and a few original songs that are just for her live shows (e.g. Dance Anthem, which I really wish I had a recording of now).
The show alternated about half and half between her solo on the piano (for things like Flowers and Summer in the City (which is one million times better live)) and her backed up by her band (coming up for her more electronic songs, like Fidelity or Hotel Song (my favorite of all her songs, which was the final encore of the night! Swoon, for serious.))
The entire thing was completely surreal, because it was so unlike most small venue concerts I've been too. Big crowd, but still plenty of standing room so you weren't crushed, no overly drunken fools, no loud talking during quiet songs (because a lot of Regina Spektor is quiet, or has long pauses), and an almost 2 hour long show. An excellent experience all around.
And did I mention that she did Poor Little Rich Boy, with a drumstick in one hand and a piano at the other? Which I guess I understood empirically was how it was done, but Wow, in person, crazy impressive.
So now, yeah, totally obsessed. I have 11:11, Songs, Begin to Hope, and Soviet Kitsch running on a continuous loop on my iPod. LOVE.
And feel free to shoot me, but this music video makes me so happy that I might spontaneously combust.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Some (Boring) Things of Note
Because, as usual, I'm not posting anything, a few notes to update everyone:
- I'm in a really good mood right now.
- I just turned 25 and feel very old. But it's not necessarily a bad thing.
- I had an excellent birthday party this weekend. (Thanks everybody!)
- I have one of these now. It completes me. (Thanks Frank!)
- I'm doing this (again) right now, which is why I'm not posting. I'm going to fail (again), but it's still fun.
- No, seriously, a really good mood. Like, really, really good.
If I hit 15,000 words before the end of the week (my goal), I'll post more. (Note: Highly unlikely.)
You's guys enjoy my silence while it lasts.
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