Belligerent and Numerous: Cable Guy

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Cable Guy

Wherein Jason learns the importance of not being a complete moron.

[Scene: Jason's office]

Jason's Boss: Hey Jason. The cable has been out since yesterday.
Jason: Oh dang.
Jason's Boss: Will you see if anyone else is having problems?
Jason: Sure.

[Jason wanders around to all the different offices like a vagrant, and ascertains that no one else is having any problems. He returns.]

Jason: No one else is having problems, I'll call the cable company.

[Forshadowing: Key scene not found here -- Jason actually checking the cable himself.]

[Jason calls the cable company, they will send someone out as soon as possible, since they have no reported problems in the area.]

------

[Next Day]

Secretary: The cable people are here.
Jason: Come on back. I haven't actually checked the cable today, so I don't know if it's working or not... [Jason turns on the TV. Static abounds.] Yeah, it's been like this for over a day.
Cable Guy: Hmm, [looks behind the TV] well everything looks fine here. [grabs the remote. Changes the channel. Perfect picture. Changes the channel again. Also, perfect picture.]
Jason: [realizes that the problem with the cable was not so much that the cable was out and more that no one in the office thought of checking to see if the TV was set to channel 92, which we do not get. Embarrassment is not really the word.] Uhhhh...
Cable Guy [conflicting emotions across his face - some pretty extreme annoyance right up against some serious humor, since he knows that he'll get some big laughs when he gets back to the office. He settles on a big smile]: Well, yeah, I think we're done here. If you could sign this...
Jason: [Dies.]

[/Scene]

Am I not the sexiest person you know right now?

Hi, I'm Jason and I am officially the stupidest cable customer on the planet. My trophy should arrive any day now.

1 comment:

frank said...: Jason! you remind me of my Physics Professor now everytime you say "sexy"

stop it.; 8:43 PM

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Where My Opinions Count

(500) Days of Summer - Let's start with the caveat that this movie is nothing but a stacked deck against me. You've got Joseph Gordon-Levitt (seriously my favorite actor in the world), in a funny role of a guy unsure of what he wants to do with his professional life while his love life is in constant turmoil. Oh, and Regina Spektor songs keep playing in the background. If there is such a thing as a movie marketed directly to me, this is it. But y'all, this movie is so good. Not in a traditional storyline sense. Or even in an acting sense (although JGL is on fire the entire way through). It's about the feeling it gives you - liberally borrowing from every cliche available - musicals, old black and white cinema, jumping timelines, everything - all working in concert to give you the feeling of a relationship as it ends, and the things you remember. The overrall impression is so great that I forgive the minor quibbles I have (hammy sidekicks are over the top, Zooey Deschanel is playing her stock character #2, much as she has for the last 4 things I've seen her in). This is my movie of the year, right here. Absolutely stunning.
Push - So much better than I was expecting that I may have wrapped myself so far around that I actually enjoyed it. There are some terrible, terrible parts (the Casio-grade Music of Love that they played every time that Chris Evans and Camilla Belle were in the same room, for instance). But Dakota Fanning was pretty great, and I'm up for anything that gives Cliff Curtis or Ming-Na more work. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's kinda too bad that it tanked - I could totally be up for a sequel.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - Got my nerd on and wrote a whole boring essay on it.
Let The Right One In - A good movie that gets better the more I think on it. Despite being a mildly gory vampire movie, it's surprisingly subtle. They don't try to hit you over the head with anything, it's all underplayed. The mother's soft neglect, the father's hints of homosexuality, even the parallels that can be drawn between particular characters - nothing jumps out at you. That, combined with the natural way that Oskar and Eli's relationship is handled, paints something like a real life picture that just happens to have a vampire somewhere in there. It's more than a little unsettling, especially the way the bullying keeps escalating as the movie continues. Overall, the movie's a little methodical for my tastes (I like my supernatural horror scary, not just ungodly depressing) but it's undeniably a great film.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - So bad I exceeded the character limit. If you care enough: Go Here
The Hangover - Delightfully vulgar and meandering. That's pretty much my the sum of my thoughts. "Genuinely and shockingly funny" is another soundbyte I could add in there as well. After seeing his Fiona Apple music video, I always assumed Zach Galifianakis would remain an unacknowledged American treasure forever, since the combination of that plus his standup act had still left him in obscurity against all odds. But I am gleefully overjoyed to be proven wrong. May he blossom and go on to larger-scale fame. He made this movie.