Content?

Uh...right.

Ahem.

So...how're things?

Yeah? That's good.

Hmm? Oh yeah, things are great here...

Just not much going on to talk about.
.
.
.
Oh, don't look at me like that.

I know, haven't been around much. There's just not a lot to say. Go to work, watch TV, cook dinner, play some video games. You don't want to hear about that stuff.

Yes, yes, I know, you want news. Exciting stories. "Do the voices!" you say to me.

But there is nothing. It's like writer's block, if by "block" you mean "boring life right now."

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Or more accurately, things happened, but nothing that I would feel comfortable writing about. So we press on, with one glaring Week of Omission. If it makes you feel any better, imagine that 9 days ago I took up a bottle of tequila and a handful of speed and had many interesting adventures along the Mexican border before waking up yesterday morning in a strange man's bed in Guadalhara.

I know it makes me feel better already.

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So I went to see Hide and Seek on Friday, continuing the new tradition of going to see every scary movie that comes out in the theatre, no matter how horrible. Not that Hide and Seek was horrible. It was okay. The beginning was much better than the payoff, but it definitely had its moments. Particularly one moment that scared me enough that I wanted to scream, but realized about 0.2 seconds into the scream that I was in a crowded theatre and am not actually a 12 year old girl and it would be embarrassing to freak out in such a dramatic fashion, so instead I just sort of had this stifled gasp and silencing of the vocal cords. Something along the lines of a "AHherrreghhhsshiihg." Not my finest hour.

Also, Dakota Fanning is awesome as a creepy-ass emotionally-disturbed small-child. There is a dinner sequence in that movie that ranks right up there as The Most Awkward Thing I was Party to Last Week. And if you know from my last week, that is saying something indeed.

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My hair has completely taken over my life. It is huge, imposing, and slightly feathered. It hangs over my ears and into my field of vision. I now have to brush it to the side so that I can see. It's too heavy to brush in the normal configuration - if I do, I end up looking like a reject from an 80's hair band. You know, moreso than usual. I really should get it cut, but I can't bring myself to. Because as strange as it sounds, I kind of like how it looks. I'm all rebelling against the system, I'm now one of those people that I used to yell at.

"Get a haircut, ya hippie!" I would say.

And yet, now I am a hippie. Except for all that "peace and love" crap. Screw that. We go with the more toned down, "I will try to limit the number of people I kill to a reasonable amount." And even that is subject to interpretation.

But anyway, no haircut for now.

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Speaking of movies that I saw this weekend (which we totally were, just not right this second), I caught a rerun of that movie Copycat on TNT or TBS or something similarly cable-like and movie-like. I really, really love that movie. Sigourney Weaver and Holly Hunter? With that cute guy from that other movie? And throw in some completely bat-shit insane Harry Connick Jr? I mean, it's not even my birthday.

And did I mention that Madame Weaver is a pill-popping alcoholic with agoraphobia and a penchant for swearing at every available opportunity? Seriously, it's so awesome that words can't do it justice. You must watch it.

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Oh, and speaking of things you must do (and "Yes, segue properly achieved!"), if you haven't yet you must go out immediately and read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay. Michael Chabon. Learn it, live it, love it. This is sort of the most belated public service announcement in the history of the world, considering I first read it about 2 years ago, but Oh My God. So good. Almost perfect, in fact. And I am usually the most critical person on the planet.

Seriously, go read it. Now. If you can't find a copy, call me and I will drop one off at your house. I just finished it again (because I now own one of those cute half paperback editions that came out recently, and when you buy a copy of a book, you have to read it again, it's like a rule) and I didn't think it possible, but I love it even more on the 3rd or 4th reading. I don't even want to say anything about the plot, because I feel like it will ruin some of the magic. Trust me, just do it.

It's so funny, and sad, and real. Like really real.

Sigh.

And people wonder why I don't talk more.

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This entry was brought to you by the letters R & C, for Random Crap.

Someday I totally plan on having something interesting to write about.

But obviously that day is not today.