Without Even Trying

So the latest in memes among the internet community which I frequent is to come up with 10 things that people who read your blog would not know about you. Sadly, I can't think of a single thing about me that isn't complete public knowledge. I keep nothing bottled inside, the word vomit is my constant companion. y'all know that.

That being said, let's try anyway. Most of these things are pretty commonly known, but I bet at least a couple are new.

10.) I was born in Chicago, IL. (As opposed to Texas or England, which are the two most common answers I get.)
9. ) In the course of my life, I have lived in 9 different Texas towns.
8. ) My proudest moment to date was being named salutatorian of my high school class. This was closely followed by my least proud moment, since on that same day... 7.) I won my high school dance contest for Best Hula. (The pictures that remain from that night will forever ruin my dreams of holding public office.)
6. ) I have irrational fears of : clowns, roaches, and being unable to wake up from a dream.
5. ) My family has a documented history of insanity. (See how well 5 & 6 pair up?)
4. ) If forced to admit it, I don't actually hate children that much.
3. ) I have committed a felony in the past and gotten away with it. (as of this typing, at least)
2. ) I have written, and continue to write, poorly-plotted fanfiction elsewhere on the interweb, under an assumed name. (And no, I will never provide a link. Ever.)
(And since everyone else had this as an entry)
1. ) My celebrity crush is still Elijah Wood, no matter how many people tell me he is creepy and bug-eyed and 15 year-old-looking. Y'all just don't get it.

Wow, that was kind of liberating. And sordid. Now that all my secrets are out in the public domain - Will people still respect me in the morning?

(Ed. to add: The most common response to my question was: "Still?" You guys are all going to hell.)