Marketing

Heh.

So on Sunday, I woke up at the crack of dawn for no good reason and could not get back to sleep. I blame the boomerang effect from the drinking and the up all night Friday, followed by the never getting off the couch all day on Saturday, football extravaganza. In any case, it was 8:00 and I wasn't getting any more rest.

So I did what any well adjusted person would do in the wee hours of a weekend morning, I busted out the World of Warcraft and decided to get my Undead warrior girl to a decent level so I could play in a group with my friends without dying every 4th second. Soloing with a weak warrior is hard when you're running about the undead forests of the world, so I was in it pretty thick, all swinging my gigantic sword at Giant Bears and missing every single time.

Around 9:30, I finally got into the area I had been working towards all morning and started on my quest to end as many werewolves as I could get my hands on. Of course, as soon as I get into it completely, with 2 and sometimes 3 werewolves crowding around, wanting to get a bite of little old undead me, the phone rings.

Luckily I have an extension sitting right next to my computer, so I don't have to actually leave my seat. But you have to understand, to play World of Warcraft, you must have both hands free at all times. Your left hand controls movement on the keyboard, while your right controls actions with the mouse. Using my keen gaming skills that I have honed lo these many years, I manage to get the phone answered and tucked into the crook of my neck without slowing down my vicious brawl with the werewolves (there is no pausing in WoW. Real time all the way.)

Phone Guy: Hi, is this Jason?

Jason: Uh, [hits the Rend button]...yeah...

Phone Guy: Hi, I'm [some random name that I didn't pay attention to because there was a werewolf on my back]. I'm calling on behalf of [some organization somewhere in the world, did I mention that there are 4 werewolves now?]. We are soliciting donations for all the hard work done by, blah, blah, blah, can I put you down for $50?

Jason: Uhh, [hits thunderclap, starts the little undead girl running up the side of a mountain to get away before death-of-the-undead can occur] What? No, I don't think so, not right now. [Turns warrior to fight off the one remaining persistent wolf.]

Phone Guy: Well I understand that it's a busy time of the year, blah, blah, how about just $25?

Jason [under his breath to the wolf]: Why won't you die? [to the phone guy] No, really I don't think so, thanks. Goodbye. [The wolf dies] Yes!

Phone Guy: Hmm, are you sure, come on, how about just $10 dollars? It's tax deductible...

Jason: Uh, what? [Suddenly, the wolves return in force. There are 3 more surrounding his already weak character] No! Monsters! Kill them! Swing you fool!

Phone Guy: Uhhhh...

Jason [realizes that he may have said that last part really loudly and that he is still on the phone]: Oh...

Phone Guy [very quickly]: Okay, youhaveanicedaynowbye.

[click]

So you heard it here first: Need to get rid of a telemarketer? Sound like a paranoid schizophrenic who's being hounded by imaginary monsters surrounding him from all sides.

I'm like a walking Public Service Announcement over here.