Oh So Scary

What do you do when you can't think of something to do on a Thursday night?

Well if you're us, you run off to a late night showing of The Grudge at the movie theatre across the street from my apartment after finding that video games can't properly fill the void in our lives. We are nothing if not capricious. And not just a little masochistic.

Because I do not do horror movies well. And after last night, I can say with authority that I've grown even worse at them than I used to be. When you're already curled up into a ball due to the previews, generally you ain't gonna have the best experience with the movie itself. (To be fair, they were previews for a scary movie involving a clown (*shudder*) and one for The Ring 2 - This Time You Only Get Six Days, Bitches, which I think I should really get a pass on, because damn, The Ring was one scary mofo of a movie. And clowns, well...)

(Oh, and as an awesome aside, there was the most hilarious trying-to-be-scary trailer for The Boogeyman, which stars a member of the 7th Heaven cast and looks to be the worst scary movie made since They. I mean, they couldn't even get Dakota Fanning like the movie with the clown. They had to hire the poor man's Dakota Fanning to be the Creepy Kid of Foreshadowed Doom and Scariness. That's just weak, yo.)

(And one trailer for a movie that I would totally go see, about dead people who communicate through the electromagnetic spectrum, like photos and audio recordings. Which looks like it will end up formulaic, but has a genuinely scary looking premise.)

In any case, yeah, I totally spent the majority of the movie curled up in my chair with my hands, knees to my chest, covering either half of my eyes or all of my ears, whichever seemed to be the most in danger at the moment. And I would gasp loudly all the damn time and took to muttering things under my breath, mostly along the lines of "don't go in there, are you crazy!", pretty much nonstop once the credits started rolling. I'm not sure when I became completely unselfconscious at movies, but it definitely isn't a sign of good things to come.

The only completely positive thing about the whole experience was that Devon never screamed once, and only left the theatre for a couple of seconds. There was no repeat of the standing up and reaching for the screen in horror that we saw with The Panic Room. Bravo. And as per usual, Sean was quite stoic and didn't complain that the two people he saw the movie with were freaking out like junkies on a bad acid trip.

As for the movie itself, it didn't do that much for me, actually. It wasn't bad, but I judge scary movies by how scared I am after I get home, and damn if I didn't just go about my normal routine and slept just fine. Although when the ceiling creaked when I was digging in the closet for my pajamas, I will confess to yelping and looking around frantically for just a bit.

The only real comment I have about the movie itself, (besides the fact that Sarah Michelle Gellar and Jason Behr were both totally hot and rocked some fantastically horrible dialogue), is (WARNING SPOILER) that the scene with the sister was actually really, really scary to me. Because if I was ever in a horror movie that would totally be me, running to the bed, wrapping myself in the covers and cowering in the corner. For all the good it did her. I felt bad because throughout her whole scene I was whispering that exact advice and then she did it, and...well damn.

The rest of the movie, kinda scary, but kinda pointless.

Sort of like this entry. If you got rid of the scary.