That's Dr Pepper To You

I know I said the next entry would be about books, but man, I must tell this story.

Because I know from bizarre, and damn.

So for work today I had to run down to Mockingbird Station for some random errand (for those of you who do not live in Dallas, Mockingbird Station is an upscale-ish shopping center, housing the local independent movie theatre, Urban Outfitters, etc.)

I park over in the side lot and start the trek over to the place of erranding, when I notice something odd. There is this girl standing over on the corner. She's wearing this really, really tight, white, sleeveless, midriff-baring t-shirt and a super short maroon miniskirt.

This is not in and of itself odd, that exact ensemble being the required wardrobe of most SMU girls, but the thing that sets it off is the white paper hat that she is wearing. The same kind that you would see in old ice cream parlors and the like. It has a Dr Pepper logo on it.

While I am pondering this, I look around and suddenly realize that they're everywhere. Swarms of girls wearing the exact same outfit have completely covered Mockingbird Station. Every corner, blocking store entrances. Just standing and smiling. I silently wonder if the revolution has indeed taken place and I just missed the memo. And it was a Dr Pepper Revolution.

I decide not to worry about this and head off on my errand. As I am walking, I finally get an idea of what is going on, as I hear some guy ask one of the drones: "So what's up with all of you?"

Oh, foolish man. You should not engage them, no matter how pretty they are.

The spiel begins: "Did you know that next week a new flavor of Dr Pepper comes out?!?!" She says in a manner than I would generally reserve for announcing the return of Jesus, or perhaps the arrival of Christina Aguilera.

She follows this up with a death stare at the guy to answer her, whilst a crowd of the Dr Pepper Whores (DPWs) begin to circle around him, blocking all chances of escape.

"Um, No?" (He realizes he is so doomed.)

"Cherry-Vanilla Dr Pepper!" she shouts, triumphantly, her eyes blazing.

[At this point I completely believe this is some sort of joke. Cherry Dr Pepper? Maybe. Vanilla Dr Pepper? Sure. Cherry-Vanilla Dr Pepper? Hellllllll no. And yet...behold.]

The staring begins again. The guy, obviously missing the imaginary question they're waiting on, starts to panic, but recovers.

"Ah! Oh... That's nice. Yeah! So, are you giving out samples?"

The crowd of DPWs are momentarily stunned.

"Uhh, no," the head DPW snots out. "We're not giving anything out. We're here to raise awareness of the great new flavor of Dr Pepper --- Cherry-Vanilla Dr Pepper!"* Again with the fierce, fiery eyes.

(*I swear that was the exact line: "To raise awareness of Dr Pepper." Jesus-tapdancing-Christ.)

At this point I finally gave in and accepted the fact that this must be real and the candid camera people were not gonna be busting out of the store for a great laugh. Sadly, I went on my errand.

As I was headed back to my Truck of Malfunction, the largest tour bus I have ever seen pulled up along side my truck. It was covered with a huge Dr Pepper logo and more Dr Pepper regalia than I imagined existed in the entire world. All of the DPWs lined up and began filing in. There were literally at least 40 of them. The bus took off just as I was starting my truck of malfunction, no doubt to send the DPWs to another part of Dallas to spread awareness of Dr Pepper.

They will be sorely missed.