Pimp Cane Update

Because, seriously, I cannot stop thinking about this, I have done a little research.

And now I'm conflicted.

In my newfound pimp position, would I need a Parrot-Head Cane with Concealed Dagger?

Or maybe the God of Wine Cane with Concealed Flask for those hectic days on-the-go when I forget my hip flask and/or my paper-bag-concealed bottle of cheap wine?

No, perhaps the Steel Skull Head on a Stick Cane, who's description actually reads: "The finely chiseled skull head motif is meant to be confrontational and is sure to provoke conversation among those who stop to admire it." Apparently it also "will last a lifetime and serve [me] well in all of lifes adventures."

I am almost certain that is pimp-code for "Will strike fear into all your pimp rivals and yet still be durable enough for everyday pimp use, with a lifetime guaranty."

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I have not yet started researching big hats with feathers in the brim, but you know it's only a matter of time.

I don't know when exactly it was that the wheels fell off this blog, but we're moving forward anyways, by God.