An Only Partially Fictional Conversation

Jason: So I think Sushi Girl and I are in a big fight.

Frank: What?! Why?

Jason: I went to pick up some sushi on Thursday and she didn't come over to give me my order.

Frank: Yes, obviously she hates you.

Jason: No, wait, there is more. So first she walks off from the take-out counter as I come in, and then she gets some burly guy to come over to get my food together. And then when I waved at her, she totally got this 'whatever' look on her face and wandered into the back.

Frank: Convincing evidence. What did you do to piss her off? *Gasp* What if she read your blog?! She knows that you like guys! And this is how she finds out! Everything fits!

Jason: Number one, I get maybe 10 hits on this site a day. The odds of Sushi Girl stumbling on the 2 paragraphs I wrote in March are somewhat... remote. Number tw--

Frank: No! It goes like this: So, Sushi Girl...wait, do you even know her real name?

Jason: ....not necessarily.

Frank: Riiight.

Jason: Whateva! Our love transcends her real name.

Frank: Yeah, okay. Anyways. So Sushi Girl is at home daydreaming one day, on the internet naturally, thinking about that nice boy she sees at work every once in a while, and she googles jason + sushi + dallas. Suddenly she clicks a random link and BOOM! There's your gigantic head right there in front of her!

Jason: Wait "gigantic?"

Frank: And she's all "Ooh, it's destiny! We are meant to be!" And then she reads the entry. And is crushed! You're a big old 'mo! And now she hates you for ruining her dreams!

Jason: Wow.

Frank: I know!

Jason: That has to be exactly what happened.

Frank: Way to ruin her life, fool.

Jason: Maybe I should get her a "I'm Sorry For Being a Homo and Ruining Your Dreams" Gift.

Frank: Maybe you should.

Jason: You'd think they would have that Hallmark card standardized by now. It must come up a lot.

Frank: Right. Just the parents it would apply to alone would be enough to justify it.

Jason: Yeah. A card would have been nice, back then.

.....

Frank: Heh. Your straight crush hates you now. That's perfect.

Jason: Sigh. This is exactly why I stick to guys. The second you fall in love with a raw-fish-serving girl, they read about your homosexual tendencies on the internet and break up your imaginary relationship.

Frank: It's fun inside your head, isn't it.

Jason: Like you wouldn't believe.