Chocolate and Compulsions

You know what ticks me off? When you're eating, like, those random little chocolates in a Valentine's Day heart and the very first one you pick is soooo delicious. Because then you know that you're totally going to be disappointed with the rest, because you're gonna get that, like, goopy, rotten-cherry liqueur one after you've already had the best. It ruins the whole rest of the box, because you're dreading the upcoming badness.

Man, that's annoying.

In related news, my boss gave me a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. It sounds sort of sexual harassment-y, but there was chocolate involved and I am a whore for chocolate. So I'll let it slide. God, I love chocolate.

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So I got sick of the current arrangement of all the furniture in my house. I believe this has been ingrained in the very fiber of my soul, because my dad could not physically restrain himself from rearranging our house at least once every three months. However, I still cannot find an arrangement for the living room that comes close to matching the sexiness of the current setup. Anything else always has a couch just hanging out in empty space, or two couches just wedged together into a hideous looking L.

So instead, I redid my bedroom. My initial bedroom setup was done out of necessity, rather than aesthetic sense. I needed the computer to be A) on a wall where the window wouldn't create a glare from all hell, and B) near the cable modem outlet, since my Ethernet cord would not reach anywhere else. But with the advent of my atrocious new curtains (which are so awesome, in that it is pitch black in my room at night) and my wireless hub and new Ethernet cords, I was able to get a setup that allows for optimum computer and bed placement. Now, I can reach the phone, use the computer, and see the living room television all at once. Which is something of an overload to the senses, but sometimes you need to be playing Warcraft, watching basketball, and arguing with someone on the phone all at once. God bless technology, helping me waste time more efficiently than ever.

Also, my bed can now be placed in the spot that God intended for it, against the back corner of the room. Now, this may sound juvenile, but I really need my bed up against a wall. Before, I had it out in the middle of the room with just the headboard along the wall. Drove me nuts. Because, you see, I am a small, scared child with a ridiculous level of imagination. And if I can have my bed up against a corner in the room, if I'm going to sleep and imagine that: a burglar, psycho, zombie, clown with an axe, etc. is coming to get me, I can curl up against the walls and be assured that there's no way they're going to sneak up on me. Which, I know, sounds a bit crazy (and a little spurious logic-wise: if a clown with an axe is after you, does it really help matters that you can see him coming?) but for some reason it calms my obviously deranged nerves. Don't wade into my psyche, it's a scary, scary place.

Anyway, all of that to say that my new room arrangement rocks.

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Oh yeah, and something else that I just can't adequately explain, but I continue to pick up the coolest, most tacky things ever created to accessorize my apartment. We have gone over the fur curtains, lava lamp, the swirling Virgin Mary of hypnotic awesomeness, the 3-D diorama Van Goghs, and the shag carpet area rug, but now, courtesy of my new roommate (aka LaSister) and her lack of bedroom space, I have something new to report.

When the rearranging was done, I ended up with a huge corner of unoccupied space in the bedroom. Previously this space was just an extension of the closet door area, so it didn't look so goddamn weird. But now, it needed something to distract from the fact that a good 5 square feet of space was being occupied by a standing lamp and a trashcan. LaSister runs to her closet and comes back with a large box and we proceed to install seriously one of the strangest things I have ever seen in my entire life.

It is a huge glass bowl, something that I would normally serve punch in, I imagine, if I ever hosted some sort of everclear rave or similar. It stands in this big-ass curly wire frame and has a tiny decorative bowl in the center. You fill the punch bowl with water and insert this little metal object with a power cord into the water. I swear, for the majority of this installation, I was certain that the entire thing was a joke or a psychology project to see if someone was actually dumb enough to plug a little metal box submerged in water with wires coming out of it into an electrical outlet. Amazingly enough, when you plug the thing in, it starts 1) humming, 2) changing colors (which in turn causes the entire bowl to change colors) and 3) producing this strange, dry-ice type fog on the surface of the water. It is easily one of the most bizarre objects I have every witnessed, let alone had standing in my bedroom. Apparently, it acts as a 1) humidifier, 2) deodorizer, and 3) creepy colorful decoration.

I don't know what else to day, other than it actually does work really well as a humidifier - my breathing is excellent these days. But boy is it creepy. And I have to turn it off at night, lest it act as a beacon for the zombie-clowns.

I told you not to get in too deep.