Belligerent and Numerous: Bulk Rate Verb Tenses

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Bulk Rate Verb Tenses

Otherwise Entitled

When Spam Email and A French Teacher Collide

OR

Add Inches to Your Conjugation!

Today's best spam email on my Gmail account is brought to us by one un-anonymous spammer, Liz Donne.

Liz writes:

Fw: Hows it been going?

L0 w and reasonable aPr !ces.

Valid for
24 hrs.
That flight attendant is not missing playing below the bridge at this exact moment.
Donna's daughter hasn't practiced playing yet.
Do you practice driving in London?
I don't miss jumping for three or four weeks.
Were those science teachers missing walking a few days ago?
I am not enjoying skiing among the trees at the moment.
Hasn't Buddy ever liked swimming?
Haven't you disliked reading?

Goodbye,
Liz Donne

I swear to God I had almost that exact list of sentences to translate for my final exam in French IV on irregular verb tenses. I expect Liz will soon write back, detailing my pronunciation faults and will make fun of the fact that I always pluralize nouns when I'm unsure of their gender. Y'know, just to complete the high school French experience.

The main question I have here is: What is she selling? There's no link. There's no questioning of my manhood, or even any mention of hot lesbian action. She's like the worst spam emailer of all time.

I do enjoy her statement that the pr!ces are both L0w and reasonable, though. I do love me some low prices on complicated verb conjugation.

2 comments:

deh-vin said...: Gi' my money.; 6:23 PM
erin said...: le meilleur poteau jamais
je t'aime. :); 8:18 AM

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Where My Opinions Count

(500) Days of Summer - Let's start with the caveat that this movie is nothing but a stacked deck against me. You've got Joseph Gordon-Levitt (seriously my favorite actor in the world), in a funny role of a guy unsure of what he wants to do with his professional life while his love life is in constant turmoil. Oh, and Regina Spektor songs keep playing in the background. If there is such a thing as a movie marketed directly to me, this is it. But y'all, this movie is so good. Not in a traditional storyline sense. Or even in an acting sense (although JGL is on fire the entire way through). It's about the feeling it gives you - liberally borrowing from every cliche available - musicals, old black and white cinema, jumping timelines, everything - all working in concert to give you the feeling of a relationship as it ends, and the things you remember. The overrall impression is so great that I forgive the minor quibbles I have (hammy sidekicks are over the top, Zooey Deschanel is playing her stock character #2, much as she has for the last 4 things I've seen her in). This is my movie of the year, right here. Absolutely stunning.
Push - So much better than I was expecting that I may have wrapped myself so far around that I actually enjoyed it. There are some terrible, terrible parts (the Casio-grade Music of Love that they played every time that Chris Evans and Camilla Belle were in the same room, for instance). But Dakota Fanning was pretty great, and I'm up for anything that gives Cliff Curtis or Ming-Na more work. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's kinda too bad that it tanked - I could totally be up for a sequel.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - Got my nerd on and wrote a whole boring essay on it.
Let The Right One In - A good movie that gets better the more I think on it. Despite being a mildly gory vampire movie, it's surprisingly subtle. They don't try to hit you over the head with anything, it's all underplayed. The mother's soft neglect, the father's hints of homosexuality, even the parallels that can be drawn between particular characters - nothing jumps out at you. That, combined with the natural way that Oskar and Eli's relationship is handled, paints something like a real life picture that just happens to have a vampire somewhere in there. It's more than a little unsettling, especially the way the bullying keeps escalating as the movie continues. Overall, the movie's a little methodical for my tastes (I like my supernatural horror scary, not just ungodly depressing) but it's undeniably a great film.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - So bad I exceeded the character limit. If you care enough: Go Here
The Hangover - Delightfully vulgar and meandering. That's pretty much my the sum of my thoughts. "Genuinely and shockingly funny" is another soundbyte I could add in there as well. After seeing his Fiona Apple music video, I always assumed Zach Galifianakis would remain an unacknowledged American treasure forever, since the combination of that plus his standup act had still left him in obscurity against all odds. But I am gleefully overjoyed to be proven wrong. May he blossom and go on to larger-scale fame. He made this movie.