Belligerent and Numerous: Ranting for the Sake of Ranting

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Ranting for the Sake of Ranting

Two unrelated and almost purposely obtuse rants on things that annoy me today:

Okay, how many times in the past week have I seen (usually in reality TV show interviews) someone say "Well, I know I did my best, so I feel fine," immediately after losing/getting kicked off/being rejected/etc? Approximately 1,000,000 times by my count. How is this comforting to people? "I did my absolute best and I totally got smoked! Score!" That is not something to be proud of, that your best was not good enough. That is crushing! Vow to get better. Make up an excuse, blame a judge, the media, or God. Heck, freak out in the middle of the interview all mad-scientist/Bond villain and declare that You'll Destroy Them All and One Day You'll See, You'll All See Mwha Ha ha. But whatever you do, please don't accept your mediocrity in front of a TV viewing audience. It makes me sad.

Yes, I got a haircut. I'm glad that you can see that, I'm crazy narcissistic like that. But here's the thing - coming up to me and saying "Hey, you got a haircut!" drives me insane. Tell me you like it, tell me you hate it, tell me it makes my forehead look a mile long and my head like a half-crushed walnut, whatever, just don't stop with the declarative. I see what you're doing, don't think I'm stupid. You're trying to gauge what I think of it so that you can respond in kind. If I say "Yeah, I love it," you can paste a fake smile on your face and go right along. Or if I say "Eh, yeah, what can you do?" you're free to give in to your baser urges and comfort "oh, it'll grow out, it's not that bad."

No No No! Quit hedging to see what I think, just grow a pair and tell me. As it stands right now, you remember that line in Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy where Ford came up with a theory that people keep stating the obvious because they have to constantly talk to keep their brain functioning? That's what I'm thinking when you're* all "Your hair is different today! And will you look at that sky? It's blue!"

*(PS - By you, I mean all those other people. Not you. You know I love you. Always and forever. You complete me, baby.)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...: Point #1: I never thought of it that way before. You've got something there, though... that would be the self-esteem movement talking. Now, thanks to you, I shall be paranoid if the phrase comes out of my mouth and testy if it comes out of others'. One more thing for me to be paranoid and testy about. Great.; 9:47 PM
Sean said...: What's with the Anon' postin'? Too paranoid to leave a name? Drive-by comment? I disapprove.; 8:24 PM

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Where My Opinions Count

(500) Days of Summer - Let's start with the caveat that this movie is nothing but a stacked deck against me. You've got Joseph Gordon-Levitt (seriously my favorite actor in the world), in a funny role of a guy unsure of what he wants to do with his professional life while his love life is in constant turmoil. Oh, and Regina Spektor songs keep playing in the background. If there is such a thing as a movie marketed directly to me, this is it. But y'all, this movie is so good. Not in a traditional storyline sense. Or even in an acting sense (although JGL is on fire the entire way through). It's about the feeling it gives you - liberally borrowing from every cliche available - musicals, old black and white cinema, jumping timelines, everything - all working in concert to give you the feeling of a relationship as it ends, and the things you remember. The overrall impression is so great that I forgive the minor quibbles I have (hammy sidekicks are over the top, Zooey Deschanel is playing her stock character #2, much as she has for the last 4 things I've seen her in). This is my movie of the year, right here. Absolutely stunning.
Push - So much better than I was expecting that I may have wrapped myself so far around that I actually enjoyed it. There are some terrible, terrible parts (the Casio-grade Music of Love that they played every time that Chris Evans and Camilla Belle were in the same room, for instance). But Dakota Fanning was pretty great, and I'm up for anything that gives Cliff Curtis or Ming-Na more work. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's kinda too bad that it tanked - I could totally be up for a sequel.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - Got my nerd on and wrote a whole boring essay on it.
Let The Right One In - A good movie that gets better the more I think on it. Despite being a mildly gory vampire movie, it's surprisingly subtle. They don't try to hit you over the head with anything, it's all underplayed. The mother's soft neglect, the father's hints of homosexuality, even the parallels that can be drawn between particular characters - nothing jumps out at you. That, combined with the natural way that Oskar and Eli's relationship is handled, paints something like a real life picture that just happens to have a vampire somewhere in there. It's more than a little unsettling, especially the way the bullying keeps escalating as the movie continues. Overall, the movie's a little methodical for my tastes (I like my supernatural horror scary, not just ungodly depressing) but it's undeniably a great film.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - So bad I exceeded the character limit. If you care enough: Go Here
The Hangover - Delightfully vulgar and meandering. That's pretty much my the sum of my thoughts. "Genuinely and shockingly funny" is another soundbyte I could add in there as well. After seeing his Fiona Apple music video, I always assumed Zach Galifianakis would remain an unacknowledged American treasure forever, since the combination of that plus his standup act had still left him in obscurity against all odds. But I am gleefully overjoyed to be proven wrong. May he blossom and go on to larger-scale fame. He made this movie.