Out the Window

This weekend, I went back to my parent's house, to visit the family and whatnot. It was nice and relaxing, which of course makes for a horrible entry. Luckily, we can count on the motorists of Texas to provide a little excitement to end the weekend on.

So I'm driving home, sans air conditioning as the Truck of Malfunction (TOM) requires a new bottle o' Freon every Sunday promptly at 2:00, lest the air become the same temperature as molten steel and it is currently 3:45. Thus, I am busting down the highway, windows open, radio cranked, and singing along to Wake Me Up Before You Go Go to distract myself from the fact that it is so hot that my hands have melted into the steering wheel and will require surgical removal.

There is a car in front of me, a little white Toyota of unknown origin. It does not register on my radar too much, until it starts swerving around a little. I am intrigued. Suddenly, it starts to shift over to the left hand lane. Good for him. However, midway through the process, out of the window flies

-- let's pause here a moment to reflect on this. What would you expect might fly out a car window? A paper bag? A piece of paper? Hah, no. You obviously have no concept of my luck --

out of the window flies a carton of McDonalds french fries. Red, greasy, and completely full. It is practically launched from the window, propelled with great force in an upwards direction. I'm sort of hypnotized by the parabolic descent of the fries (little twirling golden arches), and the general weirdness of seeing a big ol' thing of fries sailing through the air, until I realize they're totally gonna land on the TOM.

"This can't be good for the functioning of a Truck of Malfunction" is the only thought I have time for before the fries collide perfectly center with the grill of the TOM. It makes sort of a wet noise, surprisingly. For a second, I actively wonder if a fry might actually get sucked into the engine and cause my fiery death.

"That would suck so bad. And yet, it's just ironic enough for God to pull it on me. Man Killed By French Fries, the headline would read, and you just know it would be in one of those Humorous Notes section, with a little subline - and you thought they were just bad for your cholesterol."

Luckily enough, the carton fell off pretty quickly and I've yet to see any french fry related lag in performance from the TOM.

But man, is that weird or what? I'll always wonder now, what caused the owner of the white Toyota to throw the fries out the window? What kind of deranged person throws out a perfectly good bunch of McD's fries? Those things are awesome. And out a window, nonetheless. Insanity.

Mmm, now I'm hungry. I need something deep fried obviously. And not airborne.