Belligerent and Numerous: Knees, Pirates and Cookies

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Knees, Pirates and Cookies

Yesterday afternoon, I was in the office. I quickly turned away from the copier to answer the phone at one point, and promptly tripped over something (likely culprits: the ground and/or my own two feet) and slammed my knee into the file cabinet corner. I'm pretty sure the entire floor heard my following obscenity. Now there's no way I'm getting invited to any company Christmas parties.

I walk with an odd gait now, sort of how I imagine a pirate with a wooden leg would walk, if he were in an office setting. I refrain from saying Arrrr, however, since it's just a bruise, and I imagine a pirate in an office would have a little more decorum than that.

Anyway, results of my clumsiness:

I couldn't continue my 'Death by Jump Rope" routine yesterday, so that will definitely push back the 10 minute goal by another 14 years.
When I got excited during The Amazing Race last night and jumped off the couch, I immediately collapsed into a writhing heap o' pain. A heap that was still yelling "Run, fool, run!" but a heap nonetheless.
Today, my knee is a lovely shade of purple-ish red that somehow perfectly complements the color of my shirt. Even in pain, am excellent at outfit coordination.

In other, less painful news, I was still able to cook last night and made some awesome chocolate chip/walnut cookies that only set the fire alarm off once. Between those and my amazing guacamole skilz from this past weekend, I'm well on my way to becoming a master cooking guy and appearing on that Iron Chef show. You'll be able to recognize me by the pronounced limp and pirate-like demeanor.

1 comment:

Jason said...: Pirates? What on earth was I going on about? I solemnly swear never to post that early in the morning again, or I will at least wait until I've had my first cup of coffee. Geez...; 9:48 AM

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Where My Opinions Count

(500) Days of Summer - Let's start with the caveat that this movie is nothing but a stacked deck against me. You've got Joseph Gordon-Levitt (seriously my favorite actor in the world), in a funny role of a guy unsure of what he wants to do with his professional life while his love life is in constant turmoil. Oh, and Regina Spektor songs keep playing in the background. If there is such a thing as a movie marketed directly to me, this is it. But y'all, this movie is so good. Not in a traditional storyline sense. Or even in an acting sense (although JGL is on fire the entire way through). It's about the feeling it gives you - liberally borrowing from every cliche available - musicals, old black and white cinema, jumping timelines, everything - all working in concert to give you the feeling of a relationship as it ends, and the things you remember. The overrall impression is so great that I forgive the minor quibbles I have (hammy sidekicks are over the top, Zooey Deschanel is playing her stock character #2, much as she has for the last 4 things I've seen her in). This is my movie of the year, right here. Absolutely stunning.
Push - So much better than I was expecting that I may have wrapped myself so far around that I actually enjoyed it. There are some terrible, terrible parts (the Casio-grade Music of Love that they played every time that Chris Evans and Camilla Belle were in the same room, for instance). But Dakota Fanning was pretty great, and I'm up for anything that gives Cliff Curtis or Ming-Na more work. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's kinda too bad that it tanked - I could totally be up for a sequel.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - Got my nerd on and wrote a whole boring essay on it.
Let The Right One In - A good movie that gets better the more I think on it. Despite being a mildly gory vampire movie, it's surprisingly subtle. They don't try to hit you over the head with anything, it's all underplayed. The mother's soft neglect, the father's hints of homosexuality, even the parallels that can be drawn between particular characters - nothing jumps out at you. That, combined with the natural way that Oskar and Eli's relationship is handled, paints something like a real life picture that just happens to have a vampire somewhere in there. It's more than a little unsettling, especially the way the bullying keeps escalating as the movie continues. Overall, the movie's a little methodical for my tastes (I like my supernatural horror scary, not just ungodly depressing) but it's undeniably a great film.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - So bad I exceeded the character limit. If you care enough: Go Here
The Hangover - Delightfully vulgar and meandering. That's pretty much my the sum of my thoughts. "Genuinely and shockingly funny" is another soundbyte I could add in there as well. After seeing his Fiona Apple music video, I always assumed Zach Galifianakis would remain an unacknowledged American treasure forever, since the combination of that plus his standup act had still left him in obscurity against all odds. But I am gleefully overjoyed to be proven wrong. May he blossom and go on to larger-scale fame. He made this movie.