Why yes, Christmas was awesome, thanks for asking.
Took two days of the weekend to unwind, finish shopping, and clean my room (it was really messy) and then spent the next two at my parents' place mostly eating, although occasionally opening gifts, giving away gifts, and moving large appliances up flights of stairs.
Delightfully traditional. Sort of.
Had excellent reception for the gifts I gave (a rarity, so yay) and as per usual was loaded down with awesome things through the generosity of my family. But that is only tangentially related to my reason for posting.
See, I've become a crazy old man, virtually overnight. The night before I left for my parents', I received my electricity bill for the last month and almost had a heart attack. In the middle of winter, we managed to use 3 times the normal wattage that we expend in a month in the summer. No, really, truly, and literally, 3 times my August bill. I immediately declared that we would no longer be using the heater in any significant capacity, as apparently getting the apartment over 70 degrees requires enough power to run a normal city block for a week.
Suddenly Frank is in his room, huddled over his laptop for warmth, shivering. Meanwhile, I've taken to wearing a flannel robe over all my normal clothes while at home to retain as much warmth as possible. Seriously, it's like I've become crazy Scrooge over here with Frank as Cratchet. (With the exception that Frank does not go in for any type of maths, and so far as I know, has not fathered any crippled children.)
Also! As part of my extensive haul from this Christmas, I received the DS video game Geometry Wars, something I've been coveting since it came out earlier this month. It is a most excellent game, as I love things that are simplistic, yet colorful that let me blast things. It's the pure essence of what a video game should be.
Sadly, though, it was not made to originally played on a tiny portable system. In its native state, you control the game using two analogue joysticks on a single controller. In order to make it workable on the DS, they have changed the left joystick to a directional pad (up-down-left-right) and the right joystick to a tiny pencil which you use to draw your direction on the touch screen. It's not the most elegant solution, but it's surprisingly effective.
The issue is, for maximum effectiveness with this setup you must hold the system with one hand, scribble furiously with the other, and have a finger available on the holding hand to hit a button on the top of the system. The only way to accomplish such a maneuver is to bend your wrist at a 90 degree angle, brace the bottom of the system with your pinkie and ring finger, extend your middle finger across the length of the back of the system, use your index finger to trigger the upper button, and have your thumb act as a counter weight/directional button pushing device.
Okay, that probably sounds completely unintelligible. The upshot is: within 15 minutes of starting play, your hands will be cramped up into withered claws, from which there is no respite. It's like carpal tunnel within carpal tunnel.
If you try to outfox the game by laying the DS on a surface, there's no elegant way to reach the upper button, so you're left with limited playability. And if you use both hands to hold the system, you are severely limited in your scribbling ability. Neither of which is an acceptable solution to a proper gaming person.
The end result? Not only am I a crazy old man who wears a flannel robe at all times while yelling about wasted heat, my hands are set in arthritic claws whilst doing so.
Yeah, Merry Freezing Christmas, y'all.
(You have no idea how painful it was to type all that out.)
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