Epic Movie Blog

Is it really December already? Sheesh, this year went by fast.

Okay, so every year I do a breakdown wherein I arbitrarily rank all the movies I've seen, from worst to best. The rules are really easy: it must have been released in 2007 (either straight to DVD or in theatres), and I have to have seen at least 90% of the movie.

I call it arbitrary because I can look back at my old reviews I did during the year and I've utterly hated on movies that I have under the Really Good category now, and had only good things to say about movies that are in the Dislike pile now. What can I say, I'm a very fickle person.

But man, I just did not watch any movies this year. I blame two things: the fact that I got rid of my Blockbuster pass after they took away half of my movie borrowing power while charging me the same price, and my purchase of a new car which required cutting my entertainment budget wildly, to the tune of 75%. Almost all of which was in movie tickets.

I'd say I'm at about half the number of movies that I usually see, and there's a huge emphasis on movies released the first half of the year. I'm so far behind the pop culture curve it's sad.

With all that said, let's go to the list. As always, we have 5 categories for movies: Hate, Dislike, Meh, Good, and Great.

Movies that I Actively Hate
43. The Invisible (What did we learn? Never go see a movie based solely on the hotness of the lead actor)
42. License to Wed (Office Jim, no! Mandy Moore, noooo!)
41. Spider-Man 3 (From the best superhero movie ever to utter soap opera garbage in one sequel. Impressive.)

Movies that I Only Dislike
40. The Hitcher
39. Gray Matters
38. Shrek the Third

Movies I Don't Dislike But Don't Recommend Either
37. Reno 911!: Miami
36. Because I Said So (Man, really not a good year for Mandy Moore.)
35. The Messengers
34. 300
33. Disturbia
32. The Number 23 (Biggest drop, from feelings just after watching until now.)
31. Beowulf (Needs more time to fester in my mind. Should probably be higher.)

Movies That Were Good
30. Year of the Dog (Biggest jump. This movie really grew on me over time.)
29. Blades of Glory
28. Music and Lyrics (Most bizarre placement. Did I really like this movie that much? Apparently, as I can't in good faith move it down any more.)
27. The Simpsons Movie
26. Hairspray
25. Sydney White (Amanda Bynes, why do you do this to me? Should probably be lower. In fact, I hereby reserve the right to go back and edit this down about 5 places when I come to my senses.)
24. August Rush
23. Black Snake Moan (Cinematography and a hot Christina Ricci count for a lot, apparently.)
22. 1408
21. Dan in Real Life
20. The Golden Compass
19. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
18. Knocked Up
17. Superbad (I assume. I only saw maybe 85% of it, but I laughed uncontrollably throughout what I saw. Hopefully it ended well, otherwise I'll look quite the fool.)
16. Enchanted

Movies That Were Excellent
15. Breach (So this year...)
14. Michael Clayton (I was really into...)
13. The Lookout (quiet character study movies, in a big way.)
12. The Brave One (And also, shooting punks in the face.)
11. Sweeney Todd
10. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
9. Zodiac
8. Lars and the Real Girl (So high, right? I know! It's inexplicable.)
7. Sunshine (Sci-fi and hot guys represent!)
6. Ratatouille
5. Waitress
4. Once
3. Atonement
2. Juno
1. Stardust

Sweet damn, how lopsided is that list? At first glance it looks like a really good year for movies, but far more likely is that I didn't have the luxury of renting a million and one bad movies from Blockbuster to pad out the bottom of the list. And when I did go to the theatre, it was for a movie I was pretty damn sure I would like, as I had to maximize my movie-going dollar.

The ratio will probably only get worse too, as I've come up with my Oscar-bait movie list that I need to see in the last three weeks of the year, and it's chock full of movies that are supposed to be actively amazing. Not that anyone will care, but I'll keep the list updated as the month goes on.

Gosh, where has all my cynicism gone? It's like I don't even know who I am anymore.