So I walk into the break room. Someone has kindly brought donuts in for the office. I do love me some donuts, but I really never eat breakfast (does not agree with me at all) so I'm not so much jonesing for one right at this moment.
Coworker: Hey Jason. You want a donut? They're really good.
Jason: Mmm, donuts.
Coworker: Yeah, they're horrible for me, but screw it, it's Friday.
Jason: Ha. Yeah, I don't know, I really should lay off all the sugar. It's all I eat lately. 75% of my body mass is probably like, actual cake frosting.
Coworker: (actually offended) Whatever, you're thin. Don't give me that, just have a donut.
Jason: Uhh. Yeah, okay?
Coworker: I...just don't pretend like it's some huge struggle for you. (flounces off)
WTF?
No, seriously. What the fuck is that? I am I supposed to apologize because I'm thin? It's not even like I said it would make me fat, (which, by the way, is something that I do say too often). I just said I need to lay off the sugar. A oh-woe-is-me/make-jason-fat comment I could maybe see taking offense to (but even then whatever, I have a poor body image, deal with it), but an offhand remark that maybe I should eat healthier?
Do you remotely know me, or what I eat? Should I be apologizing for some lucky metabolism? I, in fact, really do need to lay off the sweets. For dinner last night I had 4 mini Snickers bars, half a bag of sour gummi worms, and a DrPepper. Yeah, okay, it was a lame joke, but that's no reason to go all morally offended about it. How's about we make a deal? I'll stop trying to maintain polite conversation and you stop projecting your hostile food issues onto others?
Seriously, that put me in such a bad mood all morning long. This is exactly why I do not talk to people.
2 comments:
Wow Jason. You're so inconsiderate of others.
The guy was obviously trying to befriend new people. He probably has low self esteem and was told by his shrink to initiate more positive human interaction by bringing donuts to work (which is a good thing to do, I might add). Now he is scarred forever cause of your sarcastic and sly remarks.
He probably has body issues too!
Be more pleasant! The ONLY socially acceptable response for the situation you were in is to grab a donut, say thanks, take a bite, smile, then go directly to the restroom and puke up the nastiness.
Don't listen to frank, the best response would be to mock the fat person..... maybe eat 5 or 6 donuts in front of them all the while screaming "Help me I can't stop eating them!!!!!!!" Its not like you want to hang out with the people you work with.
Jim
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