Fall TV Round Up

We're now entering the end of September which means we are officially into the full-on swing of Fall. Temperatures drop back into the realm of 'able to go outdoors without dying' in Dallas, the trees start dropping their leaves, and I become singularly entranced by the new Fall TV schedule.

I know I watch way too much TV. I also don't particularly care. Gives me something to do that is not World of Warcraft, a dangerous and shifty little video game. As a public service, I will now rundown the entire schedule of things that I will attempt to watch. It's a very ambitious list that almost immediately will get pared down, as new shows turn out to suck wind like nothing else, or old shows that I once loved begin to crash and burn like a fantastically boring car crash (The OC, are your ears burning?).

Mondays

The Class (CBS) - I was intrigued by the previews, which included a mobile Jason Ritter, who was excellent in Joan of Arcadia, and too cute for words in Happy Endings AND had the lovely Lizzy Caplan from Mean Girls. That's a strong showing, no? I have generally had my fill of sitcoms in the vein of Friends, but was willing to give it a shot based on the cast. First episode was almost wickedly painful, but there is potential. It made it to a second week on my list, so that's a positive. We'll see.

Heroes (NBC) - Super hero hour-long drama? Sign me up. I got in on that whole 'sneak-preview of the first episode' thing they had going on, and am psyched. It gets its premiere "On the Air," as they say, tonight. Will certainly watch the first few episdoes for sure. All shows that debut on Mondays get extra leeway in my book, because I'm most definitely not leaving my house Monday nights. I mean, seriously, do you know how much effort I expend just to make it into and out of work without dying?

Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip (NBC) - I was mildly interested after watching the little Fall Preview Show at the movie theatre while we waited 14 hours for our showing of The Last Kiss to start. For once marketing actually worked its expected magic. Caught the first episode and I was very impressed: 1) That Amanda Peet can actually act, at least 80% of the time, and 2) that Matthew Perry was funny and not grating. It had that same Sports Night feel that I didn't really connect with on The West Wing, so there's that too. A little too preachy at times, but a very promising start nonetheless.

Tuesday

Not a single thing I plan on watching. If forced at gunpoint, I may tune in to Gilmore Girls occassionally just to watch the Lauren Graham who is amazing, despite the hideous turns the show has taken over the last couple of seasons.

Tuesdays will also be known as my productivity night, where I plan on getting the majority of my weekly reading done. I have a backlog of books a mile long to get through. Thanks TV Gods, for ensuring that at least one night a week is pure crap. (Note: That includes you Veronica Mars. Still haven't made it all the way through a single episode.)

Wednesday

This is what is known as Battle Night in the Jason household.

1. I really want to watch Jericho (CBS) at 7:00.
2. Frank needs his America's Next Top Model (CW) fix at the exact same time
3. That 30 Rock (NBC) show with Tina Fey is on at the same time too. Have I mentioned lately that I love Tina Fey?

Luckily, things may have evened themselves out, as Jericho's premiere was lackluster at best. End of the world drama with nuclear explosions; how on Earth can you go wrong? Considering they had to resort to the whole straw-in-the-throat tracheotomy in the first episode, I'm not high on the show's long-term chances. There were a couple of really excellent moments, though, so I think the battle might wage a little bit longer.

Because Frank can always just tape his ANTM. Although I fear for the Tina Fey's chances. Alas.

Lost (ABC) - I might give it another chance, I love me some hobbit after all, but lately it's just been bugging the crap outta me. We'll see how it goes, especially with the shortened Fall schedule (only 7 episodes before the new year), I may be able to stick with it without too much effort.

Thursday

Ugly Betty (ABC) & Survivor (CBS) - These share the same hour timeslot and each get the superficial treatment. Ugly Betty looks like it could be good, and I always enjoy Survivor despite its general suckitude lately. The first couple of episodes have been pretty strong this season too, which makes the whole thing a hard sell. I don't know enough about UB to make any determinations yet, but I'll probably give a recording to the first couple of episodes just to check it out. But in any case, my heart goes to only one show Thursdays and that is

The Office (NBC) which shares the second half of that same timeslot. So that's what I'll actually be watching, everything else be damned. The third season premiere might be the funniest half hour of television I have ever seen. At one point I laughed so hard that ginger ale came out of my nose. That is a pain unlike any other, but it was worth it. So completely cringeworthy and awesome at the same time.

Grey's Anatomy (ABC) - Yes, it is the most ridiculous of all the soap opera-y shows possible. Yes, half the time the medical events are insanely contrived to spell out the message of the episode with anvils. And yes the two main characters have become super unlikable due to their utterly assholish behavior. Still, some great TV. Sandra Oh = love.

Friday

Again, nothing at all. This is my night for socialization. Apparently there are other people in the world, who you can go out with and have wacky adventures of your own, as seen on TV. Who would have ever guessed?

Saturday

Who watches TV on Saturday nights? The only thing TV is good for on Saturdays is all the college football. (PS - Have you seen SMU? Two games scoring over 40 points in a row. Turns out what we really needed to do all these years was just scheduled wickedly bad teams. How did we miss that?)

Sunday

The Amazing Race (CBS) - Becomes the first show for me to ever beat out The Simpsons in its own timeslot. Such a great show, and the cast this year is uniformly excellent. Even the fact that the first couple of episodes have been pretty anticlimactic doesn't take away from the fact that the tasks that are really interesting and challenging. Plus, this week's episode featured runaway oxen and a beauty queen dragged across a field by a runaway horse. Rock on. Team I'm currently rooting for: Team Lesbian-Dad.

And while I won't be watching it, the wheezing Desperate Housewives (ABC) will be going full blast immediately following TAR, as Frank's strange obsession with that show continues unabated.

All told, that is potentially 7.5 hours of TV per week of scheduled watching. Which is insane for reals, but what can you do? Better than 2004 or 5, when I was booked better than 9 a week. If Jericho and The Class continue to suck, I might be down to just 6 hours. That's pretty good, for someone who is at least 75% couch potato, I think.