Belligerent and Numerous: Dead to Me

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Dead to Me

So yesterday when I got out of the dentist's office, I had to head right back into work. As half of my face was completely numb and I am the only one in the office to answer the phones, I imagined it would be just utter fun.

But I found that if I just pulled my tongue very far back into my mouth and moved my lips as little as possible, I could easily be understood, I just had to focus really hard at forming words.

Thus, I get into the office and call my boss to let her know that I am back and busy doing mortgage related things and not slacking off like the slacker that I am. About two minutes into the conversation she asks "So, you went to the dentist for a root canal, right? Didn't they numb you up?" And I was very much, "Uh yeah, that's why I'm talking so funny."

Her response: "Huh. I understand you a million times better right now than when you usually talk."

DEAD TO ME.

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I look back and realize that I should have seen all of this coming. Several people even commented on it - "You know, you haven't had a major injury in a long time, you're really due for one." And thus as they predicted, I've gotten three in the span of about 2 weeks.

Wait, you say. Three? Burned hand, drilled and throbbing jaw, that's only two.

New major injury update: Monday night I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business and typing away when I went to pull my chair closer to the desk. Somehow I managed to scrape my burned hand on the pointy edge of the desk, ripping all the skin off of my just-then-mostly healed electrical burn. Which not only counted as an ugly injury, it all bled like nothing else and all over everything in my room. I guess the nerves still weren't really responding, because I wasn't actually aware of the injury until I noticed the blood on my keyboard a couple of minutes later. This is not my beautiful life.

Oh, and to top it all off, I don't have any regular bandages in my house to treat the wound. No, I only have the ones that are covered in Scooby Doo characters. Which are, naturally, bright neon green. Nothing says "Professional Mortgage Consultant" like cartoon character Band-Aids.

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Where My Opinions Count

(500) Days of Summer - Let's start with the caveat that this movie is nothing but a stacked deck against me. You've got Joseph Gordon-Levitt (seriously my favorite actor in the world), in a funny role of a guy unsure of what he wants to do with his professional life while his love life is in constant turmoil. Oh, and Regina Spektor songs keep playing in the background. If there is such a thing as a movie marketed directly to me, this is it. But y'all, this movie is so good. Not in a traditional storyline sense. Or even in an acting sense (although JGL is on fire the entire way through). It's about the feeling it gives you - liberally borrowing from every cliche available - musicals, old black and white cinema, jumping timelines, everything - all working in concert to give you the feeling of a relationship as it ends, and the things you remember. The overrall impression is so great that I forgive the minor quibbles I have (hammy sidekicks are over the top, Zooey Deschanel is playing her stock character #2, much as she has for the last 4 things I've seen her in). This is my movie of the year, right here. Absolutely stunning.
Push - So much better than I was expecting that I may have wrapped myself so far around that I actually enjoyed it. There are some terrible, terrible parts (the Casio-grade Music of Love that they played every time that Chris Evans and Camilla Belle were in the same room, for instance). But Dakota Fanning was pretty great, and I'm up for anything that gives Cliff Curtis or Ming-Na more work. I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's kinda too bad that it tanked - I could totally be up for a sequel.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - Got my nerd on and wrote a whole boring essay on it.
Let The Right One In - A good movie that gets better the more I think on it. Despite being a mildly gory vampire movie, it's surprisingly subtle. They don't try to hit you over the head with anything, it's all underplayed. The mother's soft neglect, the father's hints of homosexuality, even the parallels that can be drawn between particular characters - nothing jumps out at you. That, combined with the natural way that Oskar and Eli's relationship is handled, paints something like a real life picture that just happens to have a vampire somewhere in there. It's more than a little unsettling, especially the way the bullying keeps escalating as the movie continues. Overall, the movie's a little methodical for my tastes (I like my supernatural horror scary, not just ungodly depressing) but it's undeniably a great film.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen - So bad I exceeded the character limit. If you care enough: Go Here
The Hangover - Delightfully vulgar and meandering. That's pretty much my the sum of my thoughts. "Genuinely and shockingly funny" is another soundbyte I could add in there as well. After seeing his Fiona Apple music video, I always assumed Zach Galifianakis would remain an unacknowledged American treasure forever, since the combination of that plus his standup act had still left him in obscurity against all odds. But I am gleefully overjoyed to be proven wrong. May he blossom and go on to larger-scale fame. He made this movie.