You wish you were this cool

As we have covered previously, I have to work on the Truck of Malfunction at least once a week to repair the air conditioning, unless I feel like sweating off 18 pounds every time I get into the car. It's a pretty simple operation, but it does involve me opening the hood and attaching hoses and puncturing cans that could potentially explode in my face and kill me. This makes for a rather manly feeling that I don't get most of time, since I'm usually like a 12 year old girl who sings a lot of showtunes for the majority of my life.

But anyway.

So I'm working on the TOM this week. I hook up all the proper components, no one gets exploded, and then I have to do the waiting part, which is hanging around my car for 20 minutes while the coolant gets circulated. (Because it's a bad idea to leave a car idling by itself for half an hour, even if it is the TOM.) To pass the time this week, I've brought my latest book with me, a huge 700 page hardbound copy of Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell (which is completely awesome, by the way) to read in the increasingly cool TOM cab.

[Scene: The cab of the TOM. Jason is highly engrossed in his book.]

Jason: Ooh...

[He moves around to get more comfortable in the tiny car. He ends up with his leaning against the window, looking down at the book in his lap.]

Jason: Hmm

Guy Who Is Standing Right Outside Unbeknownst To Jason (GWISROUTJ): RAP-RAP-RAP [on the window] Hi!

Jason:AAHHH!

[At this point Jason freaks out, because he is easily startled, and throws the book into the air. He then realizes that if the book falls, it will probably bend and rip all the pages and they will get all dirty from the years of accumulated crap inside the TOM. Since he just bought this book 2 days ago and paid full market price, Jason decides he must catch this book. Thus, he starts flailing his arms around wildly, trying to grab the book in a non-vulnerable area, looking for all the world like he is fending off a swarm of bees, or perhaps engaging in a slap fight with a suddenly-animated book. Eventually he manages to get the book without any harm done. He carefully lays it on the seat next to him and then turns to the window. (By the by, it has totally been at least a full minute since GWISROUTJ did the knocking.]

Jason [rolls down window]: Uh...hey [Upstairs Neighbor Guy Jason Knows].

GWISROUTJ [looking somehow bemused and uncomfortable at the same time]: Hey. I was just going to do laundry, thought I'd say Hi. Sorry I scared you.

Jason [scoffs]: Oh no, that's okay you didn't scare me.

(What Jason intends for this to mean: Oh I totally meant to do that crazy dance with the book, that's how I always finish reading a passage and that is completely normal and obviously I'm not so easily scared by someone knocking at a window.)

(What Jason actually conveys: Hi, I've lost my damn mind, please walk away slowly, no sudden movements, and perhaps I'll let you live to see tomorrow.)

GWISROUTJ: Ah. Alright then. See you around. [runs away]

It is a beautiful day in my neighborhood, no?