15 Lessons Learned from Gingerbread HouseParty 2006

In no particular order:

1. One should always go shopping for party supplies earlier than 57 minutes before the party is scheduled to start.
2. When constructing a from-the-box gingerbread house, if the instructions say 'wait 15 minutes for frosting to harden' you had damn well better wait the full 15 minutes. Those instructions were written by goddamn gingerbread house engineers, they know their shit.
3. In the interim drying period referenced above, it would be best to set up a specified area cordoned off by yellow police tape in which to hold the drying house, so as to keep it away from drunken partygoers, who by definition do not have frosting-drying patience.
4. Always plan for at least 10 extra guests than expected. Never underestimate the drawing power of edible houses and hot chocolate.
5. Buy more rum. Trust me.
6. Also, buy more pizza rolls. Can never have too many pizza rolls.
7. In a pinch, powdered apple cider from little one-serving-size packets is an acceptable substitute for the real stuff. Especially when trips to 4 different grocery stores fail to deliver the goods. Seriously, is there some sort of boycott on cider this year?
8. Rum filled cider? Delicious. Kahlua filled hot chocolate? The most delicious thing ever.
9. If house-building fails due to a lack of cordoned area and inebriated party guests, sugar cookie decorating is an acceptable substitute. Also, they are way more edible than the house, which may actually be made up of gingerbread cement rather than cookie.
10. "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist," is not just a song from Avenue Q. Refer back to #5, only add the words "a lot" somewhere in the instructions. Consume and repeat.
11. Always double-check to ensure that your blender is properly assembled and tightly screwed together before letting partygoers utilize it.
12. Failing #11, make sure you have plenty of OxyClean carpet cleaner available. Ain't nothing quite as awesome as OxyClean.
13. When someone turns on the TV and puts in your copy of a transexual rock musical, it is not necessarily a party-killer.
14. But when someone follows it up with an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Time for last call.
15. I know it's said every time there is a party, but for real this time: Clean up on the same night. I don't care if it's 3:00 am. You will thank me for it later. Or you'll be cleaning dried frosting out of the carpet 48 hours later and cursing my name. Either way.