How's It Feel to be a Member of a Horde?

Okay, it's not like I am an actually altruistic member of society, but I do remember a time when I had limits.

No, I don't recycle. And yes, I probably throw out enough empty Dr Pepper cans to singlehandedly ensure the downfall of humankind in about 150 years. But I at least buy them in bulk and don't throw out those little six-pack plastic ring things that are always killing dolphins or tuna, or whatever.

And no, I don't really do any charity work. I haven't been to a soup kitchen, trash pick-up, or Meals on Wheels event since high school. But I totally rock Donors Choose at least once every other month or so, and I have 4 kids that I sponsor for the Lions Club monthly events. Just so long as it doesn't require me to get off my couch and away from my bag of Cheetos, I'm all over it.

And no, I don't go to local grocers for my food, to support small business owners who are being out-sold by greedy multinational corporations. But I at least limited myself to primarily humanely run, non-evil mostly-local-to-the-South Big Businesses, like Kroger or Albertsons.

At least, until Frank introduced me to the Walmart grocer in our neighborhood.

It fills every single cliche you could possibly imagine. There are tiny children running throughout the entire place barefoot, screaming like banshees. Crammed shelves. Bad lighting. Wire carts with squeaky wheels. Children everywhere, climbing like monkeys. People wearing NASCAR T-shirts and cutoffs. Crazy, possibly-homeless woman on aisle 5. Did I mention all the wailing children with the dirty faces?

It is the evil incarnate, and we haven't even discussed the actual corporate issues that are the real source of my reprehension.

BUT

BUT

Ohmigod, the prices. And the food choices. It's unconscionable.

They have Honey Bunches of Oh's cereal, unlike every other store around here. And Lunchables at half the price of the competitors. Their frozen foods section is like walking down a hallway of slightly chilly but delicious dreams. And they have Pocky. Cheap Pocky.

I saved literally (not even an estimation, I did the math earlier today) 20.87% off my regular food bill for this week. I can't resist that. Do you see what has happened to me? Sold out to the lowest common denominator for a couple of boxes of Japanese biscuit sticks and cheap preservative-laden lunches.

I had no idea my soul went for so little. But then again, I haven't had many offers lately.