Head Trauma

(Note: I just spent over 3 minutes trying to spell "Trauma." True story.)

For the last three days I have been battling intense headaches all day long. Like, get-up-in-the-morning-and-throw-up headaches of epic proportions. These sort of things usually only occur when I am in the vicinity of a breed of long-haired cat, but unless Franklin has smuggled in something cute and furry and is hiding it in his hobo-room while teaching it to dance to Katherine McPhee songs (based on the music coming from his room, this is a distinct possibility), I'm thinking something else must be the cause.

I've been trying to root out the cause, just 'cause, y'know, there are better ways to spend my mornings than in front of a toilet. Weirdly, they tend to disappate as the day goes on and are usually gone by about 8:00 at night. This leads me to the deductive conclusion that it must be something in my bed that is causing it.

So last night I eliminated my blanket and sheet and pillow, instead opting for my old (wildly inferior) ancient bedclothes/pillow setup. This did absolutely nothing except make me very uncomfortable and wake up constantly through the night. Tonight I will try sleeping on the couch, eliminating ever other variable in the equation, but I'm not optimistic. Therefore I am stumped, and doomed to a life of pounding headaches and irritability.

Because when I've got a headache, two important things happen: 1) I lose the ability to smile without it looking like a ritcus of death and 2) my ability to laugh at non-funny things in a corporate setting disappears.

1) is not so important, but it's amazing how often 2) is required on an hourly basis. People make jokes in the office all the time. I use the term 'jokes' loosely; people laugh about things all the time. Etiquette dictates that you laugh along with them to keep a conversation going smoothly. When my head is pounding, I can't focus on the words coming out of anyone's mouth long enough to determine when I need my insincere laugh to activate. This is death in the corporate world.

That paragraph makes me sound like a robot. I'm not a robot, I'm just socially inept.

Also, I am chock full of every over-the-counter drug known to man right now, including some very powerful sedatives, so I should be given allowances for incoherency.

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While the pain is still managable and I'm still a little high - Some notes on television, which rules my life now:

The Amazing Race is starting to amazingly piss me off, and the self-proclaimed Hippies have managed to make it all the way into the finals and seem hell-bent on jumping on my last (painfully throbbing) nerve. Hypocrisy is a time-honored pastime of mine, but even I have limits. Specifically, my limit being: Calling another team "bad people" for not leaving you anything in a RACE because all of your stuff got taken away in the last round (because you came in last place), after you put a Yield on them (time penalty) in the last round and tried to break up their relationship by insinuating that one member was hooking up with a different guy from another team. The gall. Oh how it burns. The hippies need to die.

American Idol has reached the stage where Franklin becomes a 12 year old girl, and things start getting awesome. The look on both Kat and Chris' faces when he was informed he was out was just so much fun. And thus was born the most awkward hug in the history of the world. Also, I am sad that Chris and his Minor Hotness is gone, while both The Troll and The Old Man continue to hang around. Doesn't anyone realize that Hotness is what really counts in an American Idol? Let's focus here, people.

(My favorite summation of the entire season: "This year, they can actually, you know. Sing. Without sucking. Even the Missing Link there has a good voice. Ugly as hell, with no moves at all. But A good voice.")

Survivor has become actual TV-watchable this year again, surprisingly, after the woman who professed a deep-seated fear of leaves in the opening episode has turned out to be a wickedly awesome schemer. Which of course means she will be the first voted out at Final 4, but it's brought the show back for me. Who would have guessed? (No, really. A fear of leaves. The mind, it boggles.)

The Office season finale is tonight. My level of anticipation is higher than it has been for any TV show in the last 2 seasons. I'm a little over-invested. This is one of those shows that I cannot resist, an Arrested Development type show, where when I'm watching it I lose the power to control my laughing. Like, it's inappropriately loud and gross guffawing. I'm so tacky watching this show. But it is love. Jim+Pam4EVA.