Jason and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Something Something.

It seemed like the day would never end. Jason looked up at the clock.

"Only 3:00? Will I never get to go home?" Jason was very sad.

Suddenly Jason's boss gave him a bonus assignment. "Go to the bank!" she said.

Jason bounded out of his office, happy to have something to do that involved movement. And he could listen to his iPod. Life was suddenly good.

Things took a turn for the worse, as Jason found that at 3:00 all the small children were getting out of school, which meant many many school crossing zones. But Jason was not deterred! Creeping along with the music blasting, Jason carefully picked his way towards the bank.

It was a nice day, not too sunny or warm, so Jason's spirits were steadily rising, and when George Michael's Faith came on, he knew today was going to be a good day. He made it to the bank without incident and got his business done in record time.

"What a swell day," he said.

Jason stepped out into the sun and disaster struck.

"The sun is out!"

And indeed it was. Lots of sun, and it was very hot in his Truck of Malfunction. And being a Truck of Malfunction, it lacked an air conditioning unit.

"I am resourceful and today is a good day. I will be fine." And with that, Jason rolled down his window and continued on his journey.

At the first stoplight, Jason looked out beside his Truck of Malfunction. "Look at those beautiful flowers! Today is a great day."

Suddenly, the sprinklers that water the flowers came on. Unfortunately for Jason, the sprinklers were aimed not at the flowers, but instead at his open window. Jason was soaked.

"Oh no! I must roll up the window!" So roll he did. Until it broke halfway up. Truck of Malfunction indeed. By the end of the light, Jason was very wet.

"I may be wet, but things will be fine. Today is a good day."

Jason got on the highway and headed back towards work. He went ahead and rolled the window down all the way, figuring that perhaps the rushing wind might dry him off a bit.

Two miles down the highway Jason saw a huge gust of wind up ahead -- a bunch of leaves blew across the road all swirling-like. "Yay for gusts of wind. Dry me off!" Jason was happy.

Even more suddenly than the last sudden thing, a huge piece of newspaper blew off of the highway and into Jason's driver's side window.

"This shouldn't be physically possible!" Jason exclaimed as he batted away the paper from his field of vision. He pushed the paper out of his face and down to the floorboards. At this point he noticed that his hands were sticky due to some unknown substance on the paper and there were several tiny chicken feathers in the cab.

He looked down at his sticky hands, and the chicken feathers, and his wet clothes.

"Today is still an okay day, on the whole," Jason sighed.

Then he looked down at his clock. 3:50. He still had over an hour and a half of work left.

"Well Shit," he said.

--The End--