Cheap Date

It has become painfully obvious that I am at the same time very easily amused, and a very cheap date. I am totally the lowest common denominator of movie watching, in that seeing the line up of movies coming out for the last three weeks made me giddy with anticipation: Robots (A cartoon with Amanda Bynes!?!), The Ring 2 (evil dead children of corniness and ultimate scariness), Ice Princess (You got your physics nerd in my ice skater! You got your ice skater in my physics nerd...), and Miss Congeniality 2 (Armed and Fabulous.) (No really, that's the tagline.)

It was determined in conversation earlier this week that I am the cheapest date any of us know, because I don't even need dinner with the movie. You could just give me a couple of Pixi Sticks or a funnel cake and I would like a happy puppy. There was also some talk about how I am easily distracted by shiny objects, but that is neither here nor there.

Anyways, my love for bad movies knows no bounds.

I present to you the quickest rundown of bad movies that make my life complete:

• Bring It On - Easily the best bad movie in existence about cheerleading and subtextual lesbianism. Infinitely quotable in all situations. Need a rebuttal? "[Thing to rebutt] this, tool!" followed by a crotch grab. Everything in life you need to know, you can learn from this movie. And I haven't even got into the Spirit Fingers.
• Center Stage - "I am the best goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy. Who the hell are you?!" Nothing else needs to be said. (Except: "Dance what you feel!")
• The Ring - You know how this came about, right? (I've got the perfect horror pitch: there's a tape that you watch and then 7 days later you die! Hmm, I don't know, I think you need to add a creepy child actor. Yes! And a monster that comes out of your television and ruins your hardwood floors! We're so brilliant! Wanna go do some more coke? )
• That Thing You Do - Yes, it's cheesy, and ridiculous, and kinda dopey, and stars Liv Tyler and that guy from every failed sitcom in the history of the world, but it makes me ridicuously happy. "You mean a record? A record record record?" For that line alone, I forgive her for Armageddon.
• Miss Congeniality - Did you ever see that episode of Friends where Chandler can tell that Miss Congeniality is playing in the next room through the wall? That is totally me. But really, I blame my friends for putting this on the loop of movies we watched non-stop every week during sophomore and junior year. Same thing goes for X-Men and Coyote Ugly. Which really should get its own bullet point, but that's a bit too depressing.

We'll go ahead and stop there, but I am insanely intrigued to know, what bad movies do it for you? Inquiring, easily amused minds want to know.