The Depths Of My Stupidity

This is the entry that finally answers the age-old question, “exactly how stupid am I?” (With the answer “Very, very, very stupid.” (Sorry if you were hoping for some suspense on the result.))

So, Thursday I was getting ready for class, right? I’m up much earlier than usual, since I have to go get my advisor’s signature and turn in my degree plan (which I totally got done. Am now a real life almost-graduate.). This phases me not, or so I think.

Alert and ready for the day, I put my left shoe on, go for the right one. Strangely, I can’t get my foot in. There’s something impeding the process. After careful consideration and examination, I realize that the fancy gel insole has ripped on top and is sticking to my sock, foiling my attempts to properly apply the shoe.

Brilliant strategist that I am, I come up with the most direct solution: remove the offending insole. Ha! Problem solved, now on with the day. Right? Yeah, no. I missed a very important step here in the process. Removing just the offending insole is not the way to go, you need to get rid of them both. Because if you don’t then you start walking really weirdly.

But did I do this? No, of course not. Unthinking, I go about my business of the day, oblivious to the world. First, I start noticing that I seem to be limping. “That’s weird,” I think to myself. “I must have hurt myself yesterday in Badminton. Oh well.” And continue on with my day, never once thinking about my insole adventure.

Then I began listing to the right whenever I walked. Very noticeably, apparently, since 3 people asked me if I was okay. I was very manly in my response: “Oh, it’s nothing, just a sports injury,” I would say, very nonchalantly. Then I would run into something. Usually a wall, one time a bike rack.

This continues for the entire day and I am mystified as to what the deal is. I don’t feel sore, yet I’m obviously limping. What is going on? Did I pull something, is something numb? I start getting more worried as I’m walking back from work and totally run into a tree that I tried to walk around.

I get back to the room. Go to take off my shoes. As I do, I look down under my desk. There lies the offending insole. Slowly the gears turn, the hamster starts to running, the light begins to dawn…and…oh. That’s why I’ve been a walking disaster zone today. Well then. I suppose it’s good that I still remembered to breathe all day today.