Permanent Accessory

Glub, glub.
One Shot. Pour.

Glub, glub.
Two Shot. Pour.

Snap, fizz.
Coke. Pour.
Stir.

Quick drink.
Wince.
Throat on fire.

Another quick drink.
Wince.
Throat on fire.
Hmm. Must get better soon, right?

Repeat as needed.

[20 minutes later]

Face is flushed.
Tendency to smile a lot.
But that’s my normal expression, right? Right.
Bottom of my drink.
Damn.

Glub, glub.
One Shot. Pour.

Glub, glub.
Two Shot. Pour.

Hmm.

Glub, glub.
Three Shot. Pour.

Snap, fizz.
Coke. Pour.
Stir.

Quick drink.
Less wincing.
Must be good stuff.

Sharp turn back towards the action.
Whoops, little dizzy.
Definitely good stuff.

[20 minutes later]

Dancing despite knowledge that I should never dance.
Perhaps I was wrong all this time about my dancing skills.
Am obviously a much better dancer than I remember.
Fantastic, really. Could be on television.

Damn.
Drink is gone.
Dancing must stop, sadly.
To the kitchen.

Hmm.
Shot glass presents difficulties, as there seem to be two.
Will not be deterred, am excellent judge of shot sizes, do not need special measuring device – that’s why I have eyes.

Glubglubglubglubglubglub.

Perfect. Should be bartender, really.

Quick drink.
Woah.
[thinks]
Oh yes. Coke.

Snap, fizz.

Hmm, doesn’t taste very strong.
Hmm, doesn’t taste like anything, really.
Oh well.
The dance floor calls.

[probably 20 minutes later]

“Ha. You’re drunk.”
“Heh. No, you’re drunk.”
Am indignant.
How could this completelydrunk person dare to say that I am drunk.
Drunken fool.
Whoops. fellover.
Okay, perhaps am slightly inebriated.
But still know the word inebriated.
That means more drinking is still allowed.

[even later]

I love you.
I love that chair.
I love everyone.
I love my drink.

Sigh. Drink is gone.
Feel bad for the drink.
Hmm, quick shift in emotion – could possibly be the alcohol talking.
Vaguely remember usually hating most everyone.
No, no. Surely not. Am fun-loving person all the time.

Still, need a drink.
Kitchen seems very far away.
Have sent someone off as my emissary.
Love him. Who was he?
Ooh, love this song. Perhaps some more dancing…

[yeah, later]

Ah, sweet nectar of life. Ever so tasty.
Am discussing something with somebody, but all details seem to be very slippery. Seems to be some sort of delay between mind and mouth. Is this normal? Will have to test this.

Crap. Definitely did not mean to say that.
Perhaps it was not heard or understood.

Nope.
This could be trouble.
Drinking will help ease the mind for now.

[much later]

Hmm. Must get home.
Where is home?
[thinking]
Hmm.

Oh yes. I remember now.
But how to get there?
Hmm.

Hey! A car.
Car = road. Perhaps home is down the road.
I’ll follow it.
Hmm. Oh yes. Sidewalk.
Excellent.

[who knows, really]

Erm. Where am I?
Bright lights, lots of white.
Hospital?
Heaven?
No. There’s toilet.
Bathroom.
Yes, definitely a bathroom.
Powers of deduction still intact.

Thought is less comforting as urge to vomit overwhelms.
Oh well.
Kind of remember an excellent party.
Totally worth it.

[5 hours later]

Totally not worth it.
Will never drink again.
Swear to it upon this dirty towel and this December edition - Vanity Fair.
Alcohol will never pass by these lips again.

[Roughly 7 days later]

Glub, glub.
One Shot. Pour.

Glub, glub…