Annoy Me

I’m writing this thing at 3:00 in the morning, because today has been weird and I have a test tomorrow and am all kinds of wired, nervous, and frustrated. So it’s gonna be short and make little sense. Sort of like Gary Coleman. (Yeah, I’m coming from a very strange headspace right now.)

There are a whole lot of things out there that annoy me to no end:

Pets in clothes,
People who use the word ‘impetus’,
Bad drivers,
The phrase ‘lol’,
Stupid drunks,

and Carrot Top, just to name a few. But there is one thing in the world that drives me absolutely nuts. I become filled with a seething rage and feel the need to throw things. Not only that, but strangely enough, I am the only person in the world bothered by it. It kind of sucks, because I know it shouldn’t be such a big deal in my mind, but I just can’t get over it.

Why are there big orange signs on the highway that say “Guardrail Damage Ahead”?

Okay, that’s it. But, seriously? It drives me nuts. What possible purpose could they serve?

“Hey, if you were thinking about driving off the road soon, don’t do it up here, ‘cause there ain’t no guardrail to keep yo’ ass on the highway.”

Or maybe it’s the exact opposite:

“Dude, if you were thinking about taking a header off the road, why not wait a second and do it up here where the guardrail is already damaged, save us some time?”

WHY?!?

It’s insane. The Texas government is paying people to go around, find places with guardrail damage, put up warning signs and then head off on their merry way. Where is the logic?

“Why fix the damage when instead we could put up a sign alerting the world to the problem that will have no bearing on them at all, except in case of an accident, at which point the sign really only adds more variables into the equation?”

You can tell I’m strangely bitter and crazy about the whole thing. I can’t explain why it annoys me so much. It’s just another ridiculous thing that will never be explained, like why people yawn, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a really bad kind of sucker. But it will continue to eat away at me so long as I live.

So there you go, yet another strange and creepy tidbit that makes up my insanity. I keep telling people that it’s not a good idea to try and understand why I tick, because you start finding out things like this. I’ll stop here, before I get to the grammar and spelling annoyances and alienate everyone I ever knew. (One quick one: Definitely. Definite - LY. Definitely. Say it with me.)

All right, I’m out.