- Deaf in right ear
- Left bicep is spasming uncontrollably
- Left knee buckles at random intervals for no apparent reason
- Hair - completely unmanageable.
Toss on top of that my inability to stop sneezing and I'm about as useful as a hermit crab in a Jenga contest today. (I had to reach really hard for that simile, I hope you appreciate it.)
In this state of unrest, I'm going to return to my lamest incarnation - short form review Friday.
Books:
Noisy Outlaws, Unfriendly Blobs, and Some Other Things..., Mc Sweeney's, et al. An incredibly uneven set of short stories with absolutely no common theme and the longest title I have ever seen. Aimed at "young adults first," it's actually not too bad. Some incredible writers contributed stories (Neil Gaiman's Sunbird story about a roundtable of gourmands is uniformly excellent and Nick Hornby's offbeat tale about the smallest country in the world is probably the most fun), but on the whole, the longer stories that take up the bulk of the book are the least interesting of the bunch (A detailed look at a quirky kid who's parents disappear to Peru just went entirely over my head. And it was a million pages long). A little disappointing, but mostly because I had expectations entirely unrelated to what was actually advertised. I'd recommend it anyways, solely based on the Gaiman story.
Fraud: Essays, David Rakoff - Yeah, not David Sedaris. That's pretty much the sum total I got out of this book, which is entirely unfair, but whatever.
Like Sedaris all the way down to the mannerisms practically, but more cynical, with a tighter focus on his subjects. Not necessarily more or less funny/insightful, but it didn't quite hit my taste. Really, I'm not objective in the slightest, don't go by me on this one. Even after the funniest of stories (his bit about playing Freud for Macy's at Christmas was awesome), all it really made me want to do was go read Me Talk Pretty One Day.
Music:
Christina Aguilera - Back to Basics. Umm, is it weird that I'm doing this review before the CD is actually released next week? Exactly what are you implying? That I am some sort of dirty internet stealer? I am shocked and appalled at how you think of me. (Think that of Frank) That said, seriously, this album is utterly awesome. Which is good, considering it's been, what, four years since her last album? I would have been crushed had it sucked. But there are so many standout great songs on this (two disc!) album, I am universally appeased. A lot of great jazz and blues numbers, some standard Aguilera belters, and a couple ridiculously dirty songs. Things to look out for: Ain't No Other Man (a song that has not left my iPod in over a month), Candyman and Nasty Naughty Boy (the aforementioned ridiculously dirty songs), and The Right Man (traditional overwrought ballad to close the album all full of organs and what have you).
Holly Brook - Like Blood Like Honey. Like: Jewel (before all the poetry), Vanessa Carlton (before she went all Goth and Wiccan and hilarious), Fiona Apple (without all the crazy), Sarah McLachlan(without all the sucking). Such a pretty CD. Listen to: Where'd You Go is a good starting place.
Ok Go - Ok Go & Oh No. God, I love when people recommend me music that is exactly in line with my tastes. This is firmly entrenched in my niche: namely, pop music that isn't too mainstream, a little smart, and a little off the goddamn wall. Kinda like the Orson I linked a couple of weeks ago, or the Franz Ferdinand (who I cannot stand for some reason) if you want to go popular. I cannot stop listening to this stuff, and I don't care. Must hear: A Million Ways to start, then The Fix is In and Hello, My Treacherous Friends to cement the love.
Bitter:Sweet - The Mating Game. Don't you just hate it when Frank is right about something? I know I do. This CD is so slick, it kills me that he was the one who recommended it to me. To just fall off the rails and just go with nonsensical ramblings: Cool jive, smooth jazz remixed with a little techno DJing, laid back grooves, with a synthesized orchestra always at the ready. Are you confused enough? I can't explain this album at all. Go listen to The Mating Game and Dirty Laundry and see if you can do it any justice with words.
Movies:
Pirates of the Caribbean - Dead Man's Chest. I'm allowed to review this decades after I first saw it because by some weird twist of fate, I have totally seen it three times now already. Words can't really do it justice, how big my love is for this movie. To get the complaint out of the way, did they really need that many action sequences? Three squid attacks and two instances of giant things rolling through jungles seems like a bit of overkill. But on the good side: Johnny Depp wins the world. In any other case ever has there been someone that can make me crack up laughing just by running across a screen? I was very surprised about the layers of motive with all the characters, which I didn't really notice on first viewing because I am lame. Like, Elizabeth with the compass, and the ending with Orlando Bloom where he ends up with the wrong conclusion but is still sort of right, you know?
Anyways, excellent excellent movie, a perfectly acceptable Empire Strikes Back sort of middle to go with the rest of the trilogy.
John Tucker Must Die. Oh, why? Also, no. Some good moments, a whole lot of bad ones. Mean Girls recast as Mean Boys without Tina Fey (instead we get Jenny McCarthy). Only real highlight - Sophia Bush absolutely ruling the entire movie with her somewhat sluttish vegan caricature. I love her.
The Davinci Code. I can muster no real emotion for this movie. I liked it better than the book. The blasphemous girl at the end was fun. Tom Hanks' hair still scares the bejesus out of me. Ian McKellen is the best thing in the world. But heck, I liked National Treasure better than this movie, and that movie was some crap. In that case, though, at least it was highly enjoyable crap.
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Well, my arm is still spasming and I have sneezed approximately 48 times during the course of this entry, it's time to give it up. Play nice everyone.
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