When I first started in working in the library, I was a temp worker shifting every book on the fourth floor to other places on the same floor. It was not the best job in the world, but it paid well, so there were no complaints by me. At least to my boss. After a year, I got hired on as part time shelver guy and left the glamorous world of manual labor behind.
You’d think this would be a step up, but I had my doubts as the semester started. At first, it was just little things. Law students would stare at me weirdly as I walked by pushing one of the little book carts. But I was cool with that, as people stare at me weirdly all the time. The little whispering sounds that seemed to follow my passing I attributed to the novelty of an undergrad wandering around over in the law school.
Eventually these rationalizations failed me, as law students (especially 1L’s) started coming over to me and would painfully try to engage me in conversation. All of the damn time. A sample:
[Jason is up on a stepstool, holding four books, trying desperately to reach the top shelf despite is small stature. A 1L comes up behind him, taps him on the back.]
1L: “Hey.”
Jason (spins around, almost falls, rights himself): “Uh…hi.”
1L: “So, you’re the book shelver, right?”
[Jason looks at the books in his hands, the cart beside him full of books, and then back at the 1L.]
Jason: “Yeah…”
1L: “Ah. Cool…”
[At this point, the 1L almost says something, then stops and looks down at his feet. He starts pointing his toe and twisting his foot around like a 5 year-old in trouble.]
Jason: “Can I help you?”
1L(almost says something, reconsiders): “Uh, no. See ya…”
[He wanders off. Jason shrugs and turns around, misses the shelf and drops the books everywhere, especially on his toes.]
This would seriously happen at least once every single time I went to work. And it went on for a good 2 weeks. It starts to creep me out and how, because I mean, WTF?
(Which was quite the strong feeling for me, seeing as I hate the phrase WTF more than most anything else, besides LOL or the word impetus.)
Finally, it’s all explained in the third week. This time 2 1L’s join forces to come talk to me. Again, they pick the moment when I’m up on a stepstool, arms full of books. Because that’s how my life works. The normal non-banter (see above) occurs and I’m really hoping this will get over quickly, ‘cause my arms are getting tired. As we reach the end, 1L #2 sort of kicks 1L #1 in the leg. #1 takes a deep breath and is all “So, do you do anything else besides shelve books?”
My mind sort of runs through the possibilities of what this crazy law student could possibly be getting at, but I draw a blank. “Um, I’m in the band?” I end up responding.
#1: “No, no. Like, do you sell anything? To, like, law students?”
Again, I wonder what the hell he could possibly getting at. Does he expect me to flip open a trench coat full of knock-off watches and cheesy jewelry? That I have some excellent Clown on Velvet paintings on sale back in the reserve section? WTF?
Jason: “Umm, no. What were you looking for?”
#1: “Oh! Nothing…”
Jason: “No, seriously, what?”
[#2 kicks him again. I’m starting to like #2]
#1: “Well, like, there’s this rumor that the shelving guy in the library sells some really good pot. So we were just, you know, asking…”
[#1 turns really red. Jason resists the urge to scream in frustration.]
Jason: “Ahhh. Yeah, no. Don’t know anything about that. Sorry.”
#1(turns to leave, muttering): “This is the last time I ever listen to a 3L…”
[Jason gives up, turns around and promptly drops all the books, as per usual.]
And that’s how for a month in my sophomore year I was considered the primary drug dealer in the law school. Eventually people stopped asking me, but it took a long time. And when my co-workers found out about the whole thing, they proceeded to mock me about it for the entire year. So, yeah, good times.
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