Friday, September 18, 2009

Fall = TV Time, Y'all

That's right! You think it's a coincidence that the blog restart happened right as the Fall TV season started back up? Oh you poor, naive blog reader. I need mindless content, and I need it now.

But I'm mixing it up a little - rather than plan out my whole schedule in advance, I'm watching everything for a week or two, and then I'm gonna present the updated rundown, so as not to even pretend-blog-commit to something terrible and then get stuck with the residual DVR guilt that accompanies an unwatched show.

So instead, let's do a rewind to last season and I'll give Emmy predictions! Because I live for award shows that aren't on MTV.

Hold on to your hats!

Lead Actor (Comedy):
Steve Carell, The Office
Tony Shalhoub, Monk
Jemaine Clement, Flight Of The Conchords
Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory
Alec Baldwin, 30 Rock
Charlie Sheen, Two And A Half Men

Who should win: Knock-down, drag-out fight between Steve Carell and Alec Baldwin, who consistently vie for funniest person on TV every week. I think in this case I'd give it to Steve Carell, since he made huge stretches of an uneven Office season go from 'bearable' to 'hilarious.'

Who I'd like to win: Jim Parsons, because he's turned one of the worst things ever created as a sitcom into something that is genuinely funny. If everyone were forced to watch the best episode of the season for each actor on the list and vote for the funniest one, I feel pretty confident that he would have a decent chance of winning if they used the Gift Basket episode. Possibly the funniest bit of physical acting I have seen since Alec Baldwin's therapy session last year.

Who will win: Alec Baldwin, because 30 Rock smells like a near-sweep to me.

Lead Actress (Comedy):
Sarah Silverman, The Sarah Silverman Program
Mary-Louise Parker, Weeds
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, The New Adventures Of Old Christine
Toni Collette, United States Of Tara Showtime
Christina Applegate, Samantha Who?
Tina Fey, 30 Rock

Who should win: I think I'm biased here, but Tina Fey did have the strongest season here. Although I finally caught up on Weeds, and holy crap, Mary-Louise Parker did some all-caps ACTING this season. I might say you should give it to her for pulling that stuff off.

Who I'd like to win: Surprisingly, I think I like every nominee here. Even Sarah Silverman I could live with, even if she's not my cup of tea. If forced to pick one though, I go nostalgic and say Christina Applegate, since we're not getting any more of her show, and she's really great in it.

Who will win: Again, I feel Tina Fey and 30 Rock like a freight train. But I would not be bowled over by a Parker or Collette win - one for ACTING and one for a movie actress slumming it on pay cable.

Lead Actor (Drama):
Hugh Laurie, House
Michael C. Hall, Dexter
Simon Baker, The Mentalist
Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment
Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Jon Hamm, Mad Men

Who should win/Who I'd like to win: Uh, is this where I admit that I don't watch high profile dramas on TV anymore? Because with the exception of ubiquitous House, I've never seen an episode of any one of these shows. But I'll say Jon Hamm, because he's the prettiest, and was so funny on 30 Rock.

Who will win: Bryan Cranston won last year, right? The Emmy's like consistency, but then again everyone said Jon Hamm got robbed last year. I'll double up my foolish bets and say Hamm.

Lead Actress (Drama):
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Kyra Sedgwick, The Closer
Holly Hunter, Saving Grace
Sally Field, Brothers & Sisters
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Glenn Close, Damages

Who should win: Mariska Hargitay has been chewing scenery for at least 3 seasons, I physically loathe Sedgwick's acting tics on her show, and Sally Field is saddled with some terrible, terrible lines on her show that's gone awry in a serious way. That leaves Holly Hunter (who I love but do not watch her show), Elisabeth Moss (who I do not know), and Glenn Close (who is a cobra and I love). So...Moss? Everyone loves the Mad Men. Why am I doing this if I don't watch TV?

Who I'd like to win: Glenn Close. Watching her in Damages is like riding a roller coaster, where you're not sure if the ride owner is going to stab you in the eye at some point. But in a good way.

Who will win: I think this one is a straight toss up - none of them would surprise me (except maybe Sedgwick, and even then not really). I'll stick with my earlier assertion and say that Moss is going to sneak out a win, since Mad Men has some momentum and there's no one around to split the votes.

Comedy Series:
Entourage
Weeds
How I Met Your Mother
Flight Of The Conchords
30 Rock
The Office
Family Guy

Who should win: It's too bad that 30 Rock is so terribly great right now. Because if you dropped them from the list, I would almost have to tear my hair out to pick a single winner. But yeah, it's too easy.

Who I'd like to win: How I Met Your Mother is getting a make-up nomination - in their second season I would have easily given it to them, but now, not so much. Weeds, as previously described has gotten crazy good. The Office was uneven but is on a roll lately. But Flight of the Conchords owns a little piece of my heart, and how awesome would it be if they won? So awesome.

Who will win: 30 Rock. Unstoppable, I think.

Drama Series:
Big Love
Dexter
House
Damages
Mad Men
Breaking Bad
Lost

Who should win: Hell if I know. This is me throwing up my hands.

Who I'd like to win: Lost! Crazy-ass, confusing-as-hell, I-want-to-blow-up-an-island-so-I-can-make-it-with-the-criminal-chick, Lost. So much fun. Also, Damages would be acceptable, even if it wasn't as good as the first season.

Who will win: Mad Men, right? That's the new hotness, yes? Maybe I should go out on a limb, but I don't think so.

Reality Series:
Top Chef
Project Runway
The Amazing Race
Dancing With The Stars
American Idol

Who should win: Oh, shit, now we get down to it. Project Runway probably had the best season overall, I think. But Amazing Race had some downright amazing episodes, if not the best finale. American Idol was interesting, but it's a trifle compared with the rest. Yeah, I think I have to go with Project Runway.

Who I'd like to win: Project Runway is probably my favorite of the bunch as well. Although I wouldn't mind continuing domination by The Amazing Race. Shit is solid. Also had the cheese rolling down the hill challenge. Man, I'm torn.

Who will win: I would usually say that you don't mess with streaks, but I'm thinking this is the end of the line, what with all the press that Project Runway got switching networks. Project Runway with the upset.

Supporting Actor (Comedy):
Kevin Dillon, Entourage
Jon Cryer, Two And A Half Men
Rainn Wilson, The Office
Neil Patrick Harris, How I Met Your Mother
Tracy Morgan, 30 Rock
Jack McBrayer, 30 Rock

Who should win/Who I'd like to win/Who will win: For the love of all things good, holy, and homosexual, please let NPH finally win this award like he should have the last three years running.

Not that I don't love me some Tracy Morgan, but seriously. Just do it.

Supporting Actor (Drama):
William Shatner, Boston Legal
Michael Emerson, Lost
William Hurt, Damages
Christian Clemenson, Boston Legal
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
John Slattery, Mad Men

Who should win: Again, I still don't watch a lot of drama, but of the ones I watch, William Hurt was actually a pretty weak link in Damages, and Michael Emerson was the best part of Lost. So I'll go with him, attaching a huge old caveat to the determination.

Who I'd like to win: Emerson, or Shatner, because really, I can't hate the Shat, even if he's been a dick lately. Remember when he made that awesome album with Ben Folds? God, I love that album.

Who will win: Because it's usually the one I least expect in this category, I'm going with Aaron Paul in Breaking Bad, because I've never heard of him before.

Supporting Actress (Comedy):
Kristin Chenoweth, Pushing Daisies
Elizabeth Perkins, Weeds
Vanessa Williams, Ugly Betty
Jane Krakowski, 30 Rock
Amy Poehler, Saturday Night Live
Kristen Wiig, Saturday Night Live

Who should win: Talk about a stacked category - I literally love every single performance nominated here. Chenoweth is probably the best, but was the least seen. Krakowski did the most with the least. Williams is the least appreciated for what she does. Perkins might actually be the best thing in a show full of a lot of great things. It's so hard to decide. I guess Chenoweth is who I'm going with here, based just on merit.

Who I'd like to win: I'm crazy biased again, but Jenna is my favorite character on 30 Rock, and I love Jane Krakowski in a very deep and personal way. "I would have gone, but the boat I was educated on sank." There is no way I'm not rooting for her.

Who will win: Your guess is as good as mine. I'd like to invoke the 30 Rock train again, but I'm not feeling it in the supporting categories. I'm going out on a limb and give it to Vanessa Williams in a crazy, vote-splitting upset.

Supporting Actress (Drama):
Sandra Oh, Grey's Anatomy
Rose Byrne, Damages
Chandra Wilson, Grey's Anatomy
Dianne Wiest, In Treatment
Hope Davis, In Treatment
Cherry Jones, 24

Who should win: First of all, 24 is still on the air? What? Also, what on earth is In Treatment? This category is eating my soul. I'm just going to say Sandra Oh, because odds are that if she's involved in it, she deserves the award for being the best at it.

Who I'd like to win: I have a spot right here in my heart for Rose Byrne, and while she is regularly steam rolled by the juggernaut that is Glenn Close, she almost holds her own on occasion. I'd love to see her pick this up.

Who will win: I don't know why, but I'm really feeling Dianne Wiest here. She's ostensibly the most famous one on the list, right? And I did love her for those 5 minutes she was on Law & Order.

Other Random Notes:
  • What the hell is up with those writing categories? 4 nominees in both comedy and drama from the same show? That's a mess. (And in 30 Rock's case, two of the four are pretty bad episodes)
  • How excited am I that Wizards of Waverly Place won Best Kids Program? Very excited. I love that show unashamedly.
  • I really hope Phil Keoghan wins Best Reality Show Host. He's my favorite, even though he does those ridiculous fake-out team placement announcements all the time. His eyebrows are the best thing on CBS.
Aaaand lord that was a long list. Tune in next week when I go over the new Fall schedule and try to write something that isn't utterly, utterly boring.

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