Fall into Television (Week 9)

Update: Now I'm only partially deaf in my left ear. This has become the least informative blog ever.

Anyways:

• How I Met Your Mother: Woooo! No, seriously, I love an episode that's a great return to form, and this one finally got it down after a very strange and rocky early season. A real plot structure, consistent call-backs, a funny (and true) new lingo thing, Barney being awesome, Robin getting some good lines, and an hilarious Swedish Collective that I want to have as my new best friend. ("This is a waste of time. PUSHUPS!")
  
  When this show is on its game, it just blows my mind sometimes.
  
  
• South Park: Not as awesome as last week, but still great. Man, I love love love me some goth kids. I can't explain it, but they crack me up on a very deep level. Especially the one with the hair fringe who is always flipping his head. I thought the Butters storyline was a little stilted though, which sort of slowed down the entire episode.
  
  Ah well. Too bad the season's already over. Still, it's keeping pace in my mind as one of the few consistently good shows left. Here's looking to next year.
  
  
• Grey's Anatomy: So it was just an elaborate ploy, was it? Have a couple of good episodes to get me tentatively back in and watching, just so you could spring the hands-down worst plot point I've ever seen in my entire TV-viewing life? Izzy just had sex with a ghost. No, really. Sex. With a ghost.
  
  People, I cannot deal with this.
  
  
• Survivor: Holy crap. There are really no words to explain exactly how satisfying that episode was. I... no really, I'm not sure I can say anything that can contain my emotions as that all played out. And it wasn't even like normal Survivor, where they try to throw in some misdirection so that you aren't sure who's going down at council - they straight up told everyone that the racist asshole was going home, and he was going to get punked doing it. And then they showed it in glorious detail. I'm in awe.
  
  In no particular order, the rest of my thoughts:
  
  - Even though I have no particular love for Sugar, that was some amazing acting she did there when she was pretending to Bob that she didn't have the idol. I mean, Oscar-worthy. I'm now totally on her bandwagon, although I'm pretty sure there's no derailing the Ken-train at this point.
  - I sort of hate Crystal, for being both a downer and completely inept at challenges. But her shouting her vote out at council was possibly the best thing in an episode that was full of so many great, great things. That's going to be her legacy, and good for her. Awesome.
  - And now I know it's totally passe and not germane to the subject at hand anymore, but how cute were cleaned up Charlie and Marcus? Okay, seriously, I'll stop. Probably. (But aww!)
  - I cannot believe that Jeff threw the fake immunity idol into the fire. What a tool. That thing was awesomely constructed. Bob's like a craftsman. Too bad he's on the very wrong side of a very smart alliance. Here's hoping that his crazy ploy from the preview actually works.
  

• The Office: Whoa, and again we remind ourselves that it's just a TV show, it's not healthy to get so invested in fake characters. Because no lie, my heart was practically up in my throat when Jim was showing Pam the house. I don't know that I would have survived if she wasn't happy.
  
  In other news, let's hope they get Toby back on the right track, after seriously sending him to a real creepy place at the end of the third season. Also, I'm sort of really glad that Ryan's gone. He was getting out of control, plot-wise.
  
  
• 30 Rock: Oh 30 Rock. This is why you complete me. Even in an episode that makes basically zero sense, you still make me laugh in that really inappropriately loud and unexpected way. Steve Martin continues to be completely underrated in my mind, until I see him in something and again marvel that he's a really good actor (see: Shopgirl).
  
  Also, the return of "Yes, Hornberger!" might very well have been my favorite line of the night. Scott Adsit always adds such perfect little grace notes to the episodes. (see: "But you were going to take me hat shopping!" from last season)
  
  
• It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: So I have no idea which episode I'm supposed to be on, since I missed a few weeks there, but let's go with the one that I remember: That Liberty Bell episode was undoubtedly the worst episode of the series to date. The only funny scene was the opening bit with the George Washington painting, and even that was a little overdone. The whole thing just made me exhausted.
  
  
• Amazing Race: Damn damn damn damn. I bet Sarah and Terence are tearing their hair out right now, knowing that the Frat Boys are still in this race going into the final four, and they got stuck with the one misplaced elimination episode in this stretch. I have no explanation for how those boys continue to race - they have no skills at tasks (roadblocks or detours), money-management, team work, or travel. They just have the luck of the bumbling. It's exhausting, especially when the previews hint that next week a team loses their passports, and thus falls out of the race. Meaning that yet again they could quite literally luck into the final three, which is almost always a tightly scripted foot-race. Makes me crazy.
  
  But lets focus on the good: Nick, while cocky, was unbearably cute in his Birthday shirt. Dallas and Toni are very quickly climbing the ladder towards being my favorite team ever. I really like how, even when he was basically screwing up the flour task by overexerting himself, it was because he was pushing to get a win for his mom. It was almost touching. The local flavor characters this year have been uncommonly good - the sewing guy from a couple of weeks back and this weeks baker lady in particular. "Not very fit, this one." I just about died laughing.
  
  And even though they are driving me mad with worry that they're going to knock out Toni/Dallas, I will give the Frat Boys the laugh of the week: Dan's inability to have even a semblance of rhythm is just about the funniest thing to ever come out of the Amazing Race. I thought he was just joking and goofing off at first, but no, that was actually him trying to march. Unbelievable.
  
  
• Things I Missed: Ugly Betty. Which is just nuts, because I needed to watch Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty online, and since Grey's Anatomy came up on the player first, I clicked it. And I was so disgusted with the ghost sex, that I stopped watching online TV entirely. Sorry Ugly Betty. Blame the doctors. I'll try to catch up later this week.
  
  Ugh. Ghost sex.
  

RECAP

Best Episode of the Week:
Survivor - Nothing Tastes Better than Five Hundred Dollars

Best Line of the Week:
How I Met Your Mother: "Yeah, she doesn't look woo-ish." / "Maybe she only observes the high holidays, like Mardi Gras and Spring Break. Maybe she's just a cultural Woo."

Best Moment of the Week:
Survivor - Every single thing that happened once they started voting until the end of the show.

Most Disappointing:
Grey's Anatomy - Dead to me.

Most Anticipated: I'm going to lie here, and not talk about how the previews for How I Met Your Mother prominently involve a naked Neil Patrick Harris. Instead I'll say Amazing Race, and the final culling to the Top 3. May death come quickly to Toni & Dallas's enemies!

Fall Into Television (Week 8)

Two full months into a gimmick and still going strong, even if I'm a day late this time. Whatever, I had a terrible day yesterday and have gone completely deaf in my left ear. We have to make allowances!

• How I Met Your Mother: I'm of several minds about this episode, but none of them are really negative. I enjoy drunk Allison Hannigan, NPH had some good lines, and there was still more Ted/Robin tension, which I always love. Seriously, I can't believe they've painted themselves into this corner - their chemistry is just so far off the charts that any real mother to end the show is not going to be good enough.
  
  
• South Park: Oh man. How is it that they're finally hitting a good stride on this show with only 1 more episode left in the season? That was just hilarious start to finish. Big props to the slapping song, and Kyle's hair. Also, all the small children who started following Stan in hall with their Sharks/Jets snaps in preparation for the musical number. I straight up laughed out loud both times it happened.
  
  
• Ugly Betty: Well damn, that was a heartbreaking ending. Why, the gays, why?
  
  But ignoring that, how cute was Marc's new emo hair (it's flat ironed because he's sad, see)? As usual, any episodes that contain copious amounts of the Amanda/Marc/Betty combo are at least 200% better than their Daniel/Christina heavy counterparts.
  
  Also, Justin is evolving into the best thing in the history of the world, what with his commentary and all. I don't care if he even gets a storyline, so long as they let him keep up this level of snark.
  
  
• Survivor: And there goes my last great hope of having one of my favorites as a winner. Alas, poor Charlie was not long for this world without the creepy dynamic that he had with Marcus. I guess all my eggs are now with Sugar and her scheming ways of, y'know, actually playing the game.
  
  And wow, that's all I have to talk about. Maybe this show is starting to lose its edge, like everyone keeps telling me.
  

• The Office: Oh man, that was pretty much as close to a dark episode as you can get with The Office. But wow, how the bright parts lit up the rest. Andy and DrunkOscar! Kelly and Ryan with his pushups! That soft lit sunset ending with Jim and Pam! Yeah, okay, I'm officially an Office apologist - even though it wasn't a strong episode, I still love it for its plot progression. That's terrible.
  
  But wait! Darrel's little dance to his truck! So cute.
  
  
• 30 Rock: That was... not good. Some amazingly hilarious one-liners (see the recap below for a good smattering) but they fell into the pit they usually avoid - the guest stars took over the whole show. I love Jennifer Aniston as much as the next homosexual, but seriously her character threw the entire episode out of whack in a way that we haven't seen since Seinfeld was around.
  
  And Night Court? Really? Sure, whatever. I just watched last week's Oprah episode three times in a row and I'm fine with anything 30 Rock does, now and forever.
  
  
• Amazing Race: Okay, I'm officially back on board for putting this show on the shortlist for Best Show on TV Period. Beautifully edited, compelling, interesting, and funny. That was a pretty flawless episode, even if this is obviously the weakest field of competitors probably ever. I mean, there is no way that the Frat Boys should be anywhere near this race after the third or fourth leg, and they're in the Top 4. That's just insane.
  
  But it does lead to a lot of compelling questions. Primarily: why on earth did Nick/Starr and Terence/Sarah both go for the Fast Forward? They're both front running teams, with two very error prone teams(Frats and Ken/Tina) still in the race. Why take a huge gamble to get first, when you're pretty much guaranteed to beat out one of those two half-wit teams for elimination? I think it comes down to the fact that Ken/Tina had already used their chance for the FF, and since the Frats weren't going to try for it (since what happened to them the last time they tried) Nick/Starr figured they'd take it (and assumed they would win any actual race, since that's all they do.) And then Terence/Sarah's overconfidence in their physical/grind it out race style kept them going at it long after they should have bailed. That's a heavy blow to take, and I think Sarah was super classy in not I-told-you-so-ing the point that Terence basically screwed them.
  
  Ah well, no one really cares. All we should really be talking about is Austin's hilarious turn as a crazy wandering cow in Kazakhstan. Good lord, that was the best thing I've seen in ages.
  
  
• Things I Missed: Just Grey's Anatomy, which whatever. That was a short lived revival for sure. Oh, and was Simpsons/King of the Hill on this week? I couldn't hear them over the sound of Amazing Race being so awesome.
  

RECAP

Best Episode of the Week:
Amazing Race - I'm an Angry Cow

Best Lines of the Week:
30 Rock - Tracy: "Is there nothing sacred? Have we lost our moral center? It just makes me wanna pee on someone."
OR
30 Rock - Tracy: "I hate to see you like this, Ken-dog. It's like an owl without a graduation cap - Heartbreaking!"
OR
Liz: "Did she do sexy birthday or mannequin that comes to life?"
Jack: "Sexy birthday. Thank God."
OR
Cerie's description of the Aquarium dance club, which I can't remember verbatim. Something like, "all the women stay in a glass room at the center of the dance floor and all the guys watch and feed them."

Best Moment of the Week:
Amazing Race - Wandering cow costumes, and the dancing therein.
Runners Up:
South Park - Aborted attempts at choreographed dance routines in the school halls.
The Office - Andy's drunk dial to Angela (or more appropriately - Oscar's reaction to said call)

Most Disappointing:
The Office - The continued cuckolding of Andy by the increasingly hateful Angela/Dwight. How is this still going on?

Most Anticipated: Final 4 of The Amazing Race! My top two teams are still going strong here, so I'm very excited. Also, that preview for Ugly Betty looks like maximum amounts of Marc. So yay!

Fall Back into Television (Week 7)

No starting banter this time, I've got things to be doing, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to blog the one thing I've been consistent on in at least a year.

• How I Met Your Mother: A weird coda to end the arc that was Stella, but it had its moments of brilliance. Basically I just love Robin being Canadian more than anything on this show (that is not named Barney). But it was definitely a strange episode, obviously cut significantly for length (Marshall's person wasn't explained, yet I swear you could see her standing with the others in the flash at the end), and then the end just drops out. At least while the end was dropping out, they played a Regina Spektor song in the background. That cheered me up a bit.
  
  
• South Park: I enjoyed every second of that episode, even without ever seeing more than 20 consecutive minutes of any of those Ocean's Number movies. Sarah Palin turning out British pretty much completed my week. I also enjoyed the little flourishes on the edges of the scenes - Cartman wheeling stolen TVs through the streets and the like. Wholly enjoyable.
  
  
• Ugly Betty: Man, they've certainly regained their stride with this show, haven't they? Easily the best episode of the season, maybe of the last two seasons for that matter. Amanda full on hilarious/bi-curious, Marc getting screentime and being a whore, Willi having a heart all of a sudden... I could go on for ages. But dang, was anybody else terrified that Daniel and Betty were about to make out at the end of the episode, what with him telling her she was beautiful and all? I was really worried for about 30 seconds there.
  
  
• Survivor: Hooooly crap. I was not expecting that at all. I'm usually not a sucker for traditional Survivor editing, but I straight up had Marcus pegged as a Final Three kind of guy. Charlie is going to be a basket case now, and so much for my constant cataloguing of their weird (and imaginary) relationship. Eh, with the way things are going, I'm sure they can continue it offscreen, since Charlie is totally not long for this game. And in that vein, I'm not sure I'm going to like where this season ends up, winner-wise, but it's definitely up there in terms of keeping the drama nice and high.
  
  
• Grey's Anatomy: Seriously, I don't understand how this show has come back to actually being kind of compelling. And sad. Christ, why do hospital shows want to kill people all the time (sob)? But I think I'm sort of invested again. Excepting the fact that I need to watch The Office/30 Rock during its timeslot, and thus it is relegated to internet watching. But wow, way to rebound, show.
  
  
• The Office: Hahahahaha. That's about the sum total of my insightful commentary on this episode. Kelly is the best, Pam is a fool, and I actually am starting to feel really, really bad for Andy. The writing is leaving me horribly conflicted. Oh, and a small aside, I really liked the multiple levels of the storyline this week about listening in on phone conversations. That's a subtlety they've been lacking since way back in season 3.
  
  
• 30 Rock: Since I've already admitted my bias on this show, can I just declare it the best thing on television and move on? Tracey and his White Girls outfit, complete with monster claw, Jenna in blackface singing Ease on Down the Road from The Wiz, and Oprah all in the same episode? Don't even try to top it. Also, a delicious and not overused Kenneth subplot. OH PLUS - Tina Fey as Princess Leia to get out of jury duty. I can't even deal, people.
  
  
• Simpsons: Wow, I really didn't like a single second of that entire episode. I mean, I remember specifically laughing out loud at two separate lines, but afterwards all I had was a bad taste in my mouth.
  
  
• King of the Hill: And now it's cancelled, despite its episode being at least 400% better written and funnier than The Simpsons. There is no justice in the world today. And I'm going to write about it here in a second, but that local news caption of the special needs log flume disaster picture made me bark out a laugh of unbelievable proportions.
  
  
• Things I Missed: Amazing Race, nooooo! (Damn that Frank and his watching of TV first) At least none of my favorites got voted off. I'll catch it tonight online, now that CBS has finally gotten their shit together with this show's internet presence.
  

RECAP

Best Episode of the Week:
30 Rock - Believe in the Stars

Best Line of the Week (if you have a sick sense of humor like me):
The Office - Kelly: "I was raped!" Michael: "You cannot say 'I was raped' and expect all your problems to go away. Not again. Don't keep doing that."

Best Moment of the Week:
How I Met Your Mother - Robin's high school hockey flashback.
Runners Up:
30 Rock - Jack's attempt at a lifeboat scenario for Kenneth.
The Office - "Get out of my nook!" / "That's what she said! That's what she said!! That's what she said!"
Survivor - Last second vote switch-up for Marcus's ouster.

Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Unexpected Anything:
King of the Hill - Local news's captioning of Dale on the log flume ride as "Unidentified Special Needs Student."

Most Disappointing:
Grey's Anatomy - The story I read online that says that that lesbian mini-fight is actually the end of that character's run on the show for good. Way to crush the spirit of the homos, show that I'm just starting to like again.

Most Anticipated: Toss up between Jennifer Aniston on 30 Rock, and the resulting fallout from the Survivor shakeup. Man, this was a great week of TV.

Fall Back into Television (Week 6)

Hmm, I thought finally taking Tuesday and Wednesday off my viewing schedules would open things up, but I ended up watching just as much stuff as usual. Ah well.

• South Park - Was anybody else underwhelmed? I guess I know what they were going for, but I was hoping for more. Particularly more humor. Oh well, you can't win them all. And sometime there are guinea pigs dressed up in costumes. Sure.

• Ugly Betty - That was pretty good. A funny, well constructed plot, a goodly amount of Marc/Amanda, Justin wearing an Uncle Sam outfit, and what is hopefully an end to the Lohan. When this show is firing on all cylinders, it really can be great. Hopefully we're hitting a stride here.

• Grey's Anatomy - So I haven't watched this show in, what, 2 seasons? Ever since that whole Izzy/George thing ruined everything in the entire world. But then I watched this week. And it was surprisingly good. I mean, apparently George and his crazy wife are now divorced, she's become a lesbian, Meredith/Derek and Izzy/Alex are both couples now, while Christina and Bailey continue to run around kicking medical ass. That's like everything I wanted to happen back when I was still watching this show (minus the lesbian bit). I feel like someone polled my brain on how to get me to watch again, and then carefully recreated the entire thing. Dastardly conniving, is what this is. My TV plate is full, thanks so much.

• Survivor - Man, who would have thought that Dan would have been that annoying? I mean, hot people aren't usually that bad, right? I dunno. But I'm glad he's gone. Meanwhile, I still hate pretty much everyone on Fang, without exception. I cannot wait for whatever it is that is coming - traditionally the merger, but oh the previews promise to shake thing up. Doubtful, but still, I'm mildly digging this season.

• The Office - Wow, that was an uncomfortable 30 minutes. So sad to see Holly go, I wish wish wish they could have kept Amy Ryan around, she really livened up the cast a whole lot. But oh well. The whole episode was mostly just blah, although Dwight/Andy saved it from being a complete loss. Save me from the Jim/Pam stuff, though. That was painful.

• It's Always Sunny - Aww, look at Danny DeVito, reliving One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. But man, that plotline stunk on ice. I usually enjoy Charlie/Mac, Dennis/Dee episodes (see: the welfare one, which is maybe my favorite one ever) but this one was too disjointed. Everyone everywhere, with no solid resolution. That said, the spin class bit was crazy hilarious, and I really enjoyed the mailroom mess. Overall, I give it about a B. Also, I don't know if it was just because it was Halloween when I watched it, but Charlie's invisible friend scared the bejesus out of me, when he was just suddenly there. I think maybe I'm losing it.

• Simpsons - Don't hate me, but I actually found most of that pretty funny. Maybe it's just because I watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown earlier this week. But yeah, pretty good.

• Family Guy - Oh, that's why I stopped watching this show. Because it's horrible. Good to know.

• American Dad - Oh, that's why I never liked this show in the first place. (But God help me, I laughed a couple of times. I don't know why, but that cat cracked me up.)

• Amazing Race - I don't think a non-elimination episode has ever been more completely telegraphed since that one where the models wouldn't shave their heads, like 2 or 3 years ago. But I still liked the pacing, and India is always great for a wild location choice. And the continuing strong placement of my teams. Leave it to the Frat Boys to lose their lead due to an inability to iron things, though. Also I am completely over the Divorcees and their continuing to survive and do well despite having no clue what they're doing. Ah well. Super excited for next week, as I was really hoping for more nervous breakdowns, and they seem to be promised in the previews.
  
  
• Things I missed - Actually not much at all. HIMYM was a rerun, and now that I've abandoned Tues/Weds programming, I'm getting things done AND not missing any vital TV. This is just nuts.

Recap

Best Episode of the Week:
Ugly Betty - Ugly Berry

Best Line of the Week:
It's Always Sunny - "If you've just had a heart attack, maybe you should be [in spin class]"/"Well maybe you shouldn't dress up like a bumblebee in public."

Best Moment of the Week:
Amazing Race - Dallas's attempt at flirtation and his realization that maybe his mom is not the best choice for a wingman.

Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Unexpected Anything:
Grey's Anatomy - Watchable and enjoyable? What year is this?

Most Disappointing:
South Park - Decided lack of funny.

Most Anticipated:
Near tie between Amazing Race and Survivor. This is finally the time when the reality shows start getting interesting.