So about two weeks ago, I went to watch my latest obsession, How It's Made on the Discovery Channel (which I love in a very deep 'I-wish-I-could-work-in-a-factory' sort of way). But when I turned on the TV, instead of my delicious cable, I found a black screen and a little box that said "One Moment - This channel should be available shortly".
That was totally a lie - there was no cable to be had for several days (by several I mean 10). And when I called the reprehensible Time Warner to complain, their response was "We're aware of the problem. No, we don't know what is wrong. Or when it will be fixed. Hope you're cool with that."
After I got over my spitting rage at the complete ineptitude of the world (seriously, at one point last week: cable (out), apartment gas (out), car (still not fixed), phone (cannot retrieve voicemail), insurance (not covering anything), payroll (not issuing me my cash). I was ready to shank someone.) I reassessed things and realized that this was no where near as bad as it seemed.
Mostly because cable TV is totally superfluous now.
Have you been to Hulu? Do you realize that at any time you can now pretty much whatever you want whenever you want, and all you have to suffer through is potentially 90 seconds of commercials per episode? Sure, it's not everything in the world, but it's enough to keep you going for a good long while.
Want some nostalgic sitcoms? You've got full seasons of NewsRadio, or Major Dad.
Looking for current dramas? How about every single episode of The Riches, Friday Night Lights, or the last season of Nip/Tuck?
Current comedies? You've got the last season of The Office, 30 Rock, and It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia right there waiting.
And then for your news needs - they keep the most current episodes of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report right there for you to catch up on the next morning.
I swear, if they would just migrate How I Met Your Mother over from CBS.com, I don't know that I would ever need another thing.
Which brings up the other thing - anything else worth watching is almost certainly just an official website away. If you're into Ugly Betty, hit ABC.com (although they're still a little weird about what is available on any given day). Same thing if you've suffered a recent head injury and are still watching Grey's Anatomy. I already mentioned How I Met Your Mother. South Park has it's own website that dedicatedly streams every episode ever made.
Even How It's Made has it's own online channel.
Join me, my brothers, and throw off the chains of cable and satellite oppression. There's still time to escape and be free. You'll never have another productive hour of your life, so long as you still have internet access. It's a wonderful thing.
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