A New Fall

Okay, after all this research (and I have done a ton), I am officially underwhelmed by the new season of TV supposedly coming in the fall. Frankly, there may be more completely laughable entries than interesting looking ones.

Just glancing down the list we have:

• That previously discussed vampire detective,
• Those goddamn Geico cavemen,
• A show that has a tagline of (and I swear to God I'm not making this up): "Computer geek by day, government agent by night."
• A buddy comedy starring that boy from The Hills Have Eyes and a Muslim foreign exchange student (You know it'll be tasteful, because it's on the CW!),
• A show about a rum and sugar empire (I am so jealous that Joe R. made The Simpsons joke before me that it hurts),
• And one about an immortal New York homicide detective.

But oh well. I'm still planning on tuning in to a crapload of new shows, at least for one or two episodes before my attention is distracted by some kind of shiny object.

NBC
Journeyman - a) it's on right after Heroes and you know I hate changing the channel, b) the description sort of sounds like a cross between Quantum Leap and that gross Sandra Bullock movie that came out a couple of months ago. I fully expect this to be a bad of trainwreck proportions, but I kinda want to watch it unfold.

Chuck - No, seriously, "Computer geek by day, government agent by night." Go read that page and then just try and tell me how you could not want to watch this. "Hopefully, [being the government's most valuable weapon] won’t take away from his video game time!" Is it bad that the only new shows I'm watching on NBC, I'm watching strictly because they look so terrifyingly horrible?

FOX
The Sarah Connor Chronicles - It's midseason, but omigosh. River's back! And she still kicks ass! And that boy from Heroes who started out gay but then refused to play a homo so they wrote him out of the show! I am so on board with this, you have no idea.

The Return Of Jezebel James - Parker Posey! The writer from Gilmore Girls! Lauren Ambrose! This show could be about two girls reading the phone book and I would still watch, is what I'm saying.

ABC
Sam I Am - Call me crazy, but this looks mildly interesting. I don't know where my like of Christina Applegate comes from, but it's apparently pretty strong. It conflicts with Heroes, though, so if I do watch, it will need to be with some heavy duty time-shifting.

Pushing Daisies - Go watch that trailer. Do it! Do it right now! I have never, ever been more pumped up for a new TV show in my life. And I don't even know a single cast member. Whatever. I'm going to be watching this one so hard.

Private Practice - I'm thinking Grey's Anatomy made some sort of pact with the devil. That's the only explanation I can come up with because I really want to watch this, even though I know it has every indication of sucking so, so bad. Maybe I just have a latent heterosexual girl crush on Kate Walsh. I dunno, but it's going on the list.

Women's Murder Club - It's on Friday, so obviously it has no chance, but this looks really good. Also, I've read some of the books that this is based off of and I dug them a lot. I don't want to get too attached though. Because seriously, Friday night.

CBS
The Big Bang Theory - Neeeeerds! Oh man, it looks so bad. But it's on right after How I Met Your Mother so again it has that whole channel changing thing going for it. And they cancelled The Class for this, so I need to watch it long enough to be able to properly mock how less-funny it is and fume about all the injustice in the world.

Viva Laughlin - A musical drama! That's really all you would need to say to me to get me to watch. But then they go on to add in a casino, Wolverine as a producer with a recurring guest role, and elements of a thriller. All, I guess, to make the whole Sophie's Choice bit between this and the Simpsons on Sundays as dramatic as possible.

CW
Reaper - Fine, I'll watch this, but I won't like it. Especially since it looks like it's trying to horn in on the Pushing Daisies turf, my love of which has already been predetermined. Kevin Smith is just trying to get on my bad side. (It sort of looks cute, though.)

Gossip Girl - Since they have officially cancelled every single teen drama from the WB and The OC, something has to take their place, right? I'm not sure if this is it, but it is created by the same guy who made The OC. Let's hope the homoerotic subtext is just as high in this one, although with the word Girl in the title, the outlook is not good.

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Obviously it's insane to consider that much new TV -- yeah, like I'm going to shoot for 16 hours a week -- but most of those will very quickly fall by the wayside, once I remember that very often bad TV is not fun to watch in the same way that some bad movies are. It's just bad.

So I now present it to you, internet-type people, what will you be watching come Fall?
(And don't say that you don't watch TV, because people who do not watch TV do not read this blog.)